Asleep On The Waking Sea
by Bryn Mars
Summary: Following the events in the courtyard, and traveling with companions old and new, Hawke and the Warden fight to save Thedas from a fate worse than the Archdemon and Exalted March combined. FHawke/Anders, FHawke/Fenris, Amell/Cullen
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Wreckage

Meredith's smoking wreck of a carcass finally came to rest on her knees before the Champion. Hawke's hands were still aflame with the mage fire she had felled the former Knight-Commander. After Meredith had stopped screaming, an eerie quiet seized the stone courtyard. The caw of a crow cut the silence as everyone lowered their weapons and caught their breaths. A hand came to rest upon Hawke's shoulder and she whirled around, her wrath blazing anew.

"It's over, love," Anders said softly.

"Do _not_ touch me," Hawke replied. Her hands lit with more fury and she pulled back as though she meant to strike him. Anders only shut his eyes and awaited his fate.

"Hawke, no!" Merrill cried.

"We have to get out of here," Isabela said.

Hawke lowered her hands and the flames went out. A mask of disgust twisted her delicate features. She nodded to Isabela, who had both eyes on the encroaching Templars and Hawke firmly in her peripheral.

Cullen approached the Champion and looked to Meredith. He looked back at Hawke with a mixture of fear and awe. Cullen took a step back when Hawke's hand twitched. She looked at him and he nodded for her to run. Her face was a worry of regret when she last looked at Cullen, unspoken apologies of the mess she meant to leave with him.

Aveline was the first to take a step back, and the rest followed suit. They turned their backs on the wreckage of the courtyard and limped out.

"Well, what now?" Varric finally asked.

Hawke steeled her reserve and looked at each of them: Varric, Aveline, Isabela, Merrill, Fenris, her brother, and Anders, who hung behind them all. She let out a heavy sigh and closed her eyes. Her thoughts drifted to Orsino who had let out the very same sigh when he addressed the mages he knew had no chance against the might of their Templar keepers.

When she opened her eyes, she found them all waiting with a certain expectant patience she hadn't thought she'd earned. "Carver, get back to the Wardens," she said. "You were never here."

He nodded, a frown spread across his face. "What will you do?"

"Don't worry about it. I'm not letting you follow me this time. You're free of this shadow, I promise."

"I can't leave, not like this," he said.

"You have a choice?" Hawke asked. "Go."

Carver nodded again and hugged Merrill close. "Take care of her?"

"You know she can take care of herself."

His gaze fell upon Anders. "I don't know, Merrill, this time may have been too much."

Isabela approached him. "Oh, the things I was going to teach you, little boy," she said and tossed him that signature Isabela glance.

Carver broke a small grin and he turned to Aveline. "What will you do now, Guard Captain?"

Aveline's eyebrows rose. "I can't run, Carver. I'll have to stay here and clean up this mess, but she can't stay, you have to know that. Besides, there's Donnic," she said. Her husband was still in the courtyard, with the Templars and the guard he had brought to his wife's aid.

"Will you be all right?" Carver asked her.

Aveline looked to her closest friend and then to Anders, a man she had broken bread with on regular basis, the one who had shattered Hawke's heart and maybe even her spirit. There was nothing Aveline could do or say to help Hawke now. "No, Carver," she replied. "None of us will be 'all right'."

Aveline crossed over to where Hawke stood on the dock and pushed her breastplate out a little straighter. "Hawke," she began.

Hawke stopped her with a wave of her hand. "I know, Aveline. You have much here, the most to lose."

"You will always have a family in Kirkwall, Hawke, but maybe you should go for now. I want you safe."

Hawke nodded. "You take care of Donnic, Aveline."

Aveline turned and regarded the rest of the group. "I'll miss you, slattern," she said to Isabela.

Isabela smiled, "That's my girl."

"Well, then," Aveline said and took a short nod on her leave.

They watched her leave for several moments and turned their attentions back to the Grey Warden who was also preparing to go.

Carver shook hands with Varric. "Don't disrespect this with embellishments, dwarf," he said.

"I won't need to, Junior," Varric replied.  
>Carver turned to Fenris now and his face fixed with firm resolve. "You love her."<p>

A small surprised expression colored the elf's face for the briefest moment. "I do enough," he said.

"Then prove it. Do not let that crazy mage do more damage to her than he's done," Carver said.

Anders stared with wide eyes at the ground, scarcely containing his substantial emotions.

"She is her own woman, Carver," Fenris said.

"Not when he's around, she's not," Carver said. "Just, please, Fenris, I need your word that no harm will come to my only sister."

Fenris' gaze rested upon Hawke and he considered. The Champion looked more undone than he had ever seen her. It only served to remind him of the night he left her at her estate. He nodded. "You have my word, Grey Warden."

Carver stood before Hawke now and she rested her cheek against the cool breastplate of his armor. "Thank you, Carver, for coming, for being here," she said, helpless to find the words. "I love you, you jackass."

He roughly kissed the top of her head and walked away.

Anders looked up then, "Carver!"

Carver turned with an expression full of burning hate for the mage.

"I know this probably doesn't mean anything, but I did it _for _her," Anders said. "I love her."

"You drove her from her home as surely as the Blight did, so what does that make _you_, magey?" He asked and walked onto a boat headed across the harbor.

He was gone again, her little brother. Hawke watched him sail away, and he watched her for as long as he could see her. Both of their expressions were the same, they had both lost so much. They would never understand one another, but Hawke knew she always had her brother. And he was a Grey Warden.

"Now can we leave?" Isabela asked. "Please?"

Hawke nodded. "Where's your ship, Isabela? We have to get out of here before Cullen changes his mind about letting us go."

"Right," the pirate captain said. "I _knew_ I'd get you below deck sooner or later, Hawke." She winked and led the way.

They all stared at the place where the Chantry once stood and followed Isabela. Anders stood where he was.

Hawke stopped and turned to him. Fenris touched her hand, "Come, we should not linger."

"Go, I'll catch up, I promise."

"I can't let you out of my sight. I made a promise to a Grey Warden. I'll wait here."

Hawke walked to where Anders stood. "Let's go," she said.

"Why? You would have me go with them? They all hate me."

"They have reason to, Anders. You betrayed us all, you and Justice. I cannot fault them for how they feel." She turned to have him follow her.

"I'm – sorry," he replied.

Hawke whipped around at him, her fury blew into a ring of fire surrounding them. She put both hands on his chest and shoved him with all her ferocity. "You don't _get_ to be sorry, Anders! Would you have me lose you now, as well? Along with Aveline? Sebastian? Kirkwall? I can't do that! Now you get on that blighted boat and quit feeling so damned _sorry_ for yourself!" Tears filled her eyes and she choked on her words. Her hand lashed out and she grabbed the mage by the throat. "I _loved_ you! I would have done _anything_ for you!" She stormed away and with one last look at the Gallows, Anders followed.

Fenris narrowed his gaze at Anders as he passed. "She will one day regret the mercy she has shown you on so many occasions, mage."

"I know," Anders replied and sullenly followed the Champion.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Wounded

They boarded Isabela's newest cargo ship, _The Spoiled Princess_, and under the cover of darkness and chaos, set sail for the Waking Sea.

Isabela stood at the helm watching the moon on the water. Hawke joined her.

"She'll be alright, you think?" Isabela asked her.

"Who?"

"Aveline."

"I don't know. I'd like to think she's capable of talking her way out of this. Cullen respects her and it may be up to the two of them and Seneschal Bran to sort it all out."

"Where to now, Hawke? You're not the Champion anymore, you have your anonymity back."

"I think I traded fame for notoriety."

"Notoriety's not so bad," Isabela replied. "Gets you free drinks at the very least."

"Where are we headed now?"

"Val Royeaux, I have paying passengers I need to deliver there."

"How in the Void did you get paying passengers in the tiny amount of time we knew we were raising anchor?"

"The kind that planned on this day coming," she said with a soft sigh. "It's Bodahn, Sandal, and Orana. We had planned to meet at my ship should something catastrophic occur," she said and hugged her arms around herself. "Something catastrophic occurred."

Hawke leaned against the railing and took a great breath of salt air. "What have we done, 'Bela?"

Isabela wrapped her arms around Hawke and rested her cheek against the Champion's back. "Oh, Hawke, I'm so blasted sorry."

Hawke touched Isabela's arms. "I'm sorry, too, Isabela. I should never have gotten you involved in all of this mage business."

"Mages. Can't live with them and really can't kick them out of bed."

Hawke smiled.

Isabela buried her face in Hawke's hair. "I need to go check on the crew. You know where my cabin is if you need anything."

Hawke watched the rise and fall of the waves against the starry sky when she felt a familiar shadow fall upon her. "Where are Varric and Merrill?"

"Merrill has her head in a bucket and Varric is up three hands of Wicked Grace with the crew. I'll assume Anders is off in a corner flogging himself."

She turned and looked at the unusually tall elf. Her eyes closed and she took a deep breath. Fenris took a place next to her. She could smell his skin when he stood so close to her, a mixture of Tevinter spices she could not name. Her bed had smelled like that for days and it always took her by surprise when she found how much she longed for it.

"Go ahead, say it," Hawke said.

"It goes without saying," he replied. "I shall not repeat the same thing I've been saying for the last six years."

"I'm glad you came with us, I need you here, and everything has come undone."

"Six years ago, who would have thought that I would run off with a pirate, a merchant spy, two apostates, and a terrorist?"

"Am I _only_ an apostate to you?"

"Interesting," he replied. "You assume you're not the terrorist."

She squeezed her eyes shut for the briefest moment and then turned around to comment, but he was already gone. Hawke went below deck to find her quarters and found Anders sitting on her bed. He didn't see her. She looked at the man she had slept in the same bed with every night for the past three years and realized she didn't know him at all, a man who had traded his soul for a cause. He sat on the bed staring at his hands. She thought he might be having an internal dialogue with Justice and she discovered she couldn't bear his company right now.

Two doors down, she found Merrill's room and she sat on the elf's bunk. Merrill looked green, but sat up when Hawke entered.

"Oh, Hawke! I'm so sorry! I told you I don't sail well!"

Hawke dismissed her apology with her hand and she raised her finger to her lips. Merrill helped her unbuckle out of her armor and they tucked into the slim bed together. They lay on their sides facing one another. Hawke studied Merrill's tattoo.

Hawke took a deep breath and pulled at the shirt she had worn beneath her Champion's armor. "This is Anders' shirt," she said and began to cry. "Oh, Merrill, it smells like him and it hurts so badly."

Merrill's eyes grew wider than they already were. "Oh! Oh, Lethallan!" She wrapped her arms around Hawke and let her cry. "I can't swear it will all be okay, I wish I could, Lethallan, but I just don't know."

Hawke's crying tapered off to small hitching noises and Merrill rolled over on her back. When she was sure Hawke was asleep, she slipped out of the bed.

Anders was exactly where Hawke had left him on the bed.

"I don't think she's coming in here, Anders," Merrill told him.

He turned and looked at her, his eyes were a blue glow and they faded back to his light brown.

"So, Justice was waiting to speak with her, then? That would explain the patience, of course."

Anders looked exhausted. Merrill sat down next to him on the bed. "I-I don't hate you, Anders. I hate that you made Hawke cry, though. I've never seen Hawke cry."

"I have."

"You were with her when her mother died."

"And when we left Carver with the Wardens in the Deep Roads. I suppose that was my fault, as well."

Merrill stood up and crossed her arms as she paced in front of him. "She loves you, Anders."

"How can she?"

"Do you know why she was crying? She was crying because her shirt smelled like you. And I don't think it was because she couldn't stand the smell of you, it wasn't that kind of crying."

"I'm right here, Merrill! She doesn't need my shirt to smell me, I'm not dead!"

"But you're not, you haven't been here in so long! She misses you and you're not you! You're like this great big looming dire importance that takes up all the space inside of Anders and leaves no room for her! She deserves better, but what she wants is you, so you – you just sit here and wait until she can stand to breathe the same air as you again. You wait until she can say your name without sobbing. Don't you dare abandon her, not after all of this. Not after you used her so terribly, Anders."

"I won't," he said. "I'll wait, Merrill."

She screwed up her mouth in a stubborn pout. "It might be a long wait."

"I guess I knew that." Anders smiled.

"I don't know why you did what you did, but I think she's more hurt that you didn't trust her with it."

"She would have stopped me."

"She would have evacuated the Chantry."

He looked stricken. "And that's why I couldn't tell her."

Merrill stared at him with a touch of horror. "Oh. I see." She looked at the floor. "I'm going to go back to bed."

"Can I see her?"

"No. I think its best you just sleep here. Besides, I've no more room."

Anders crinkled his brow and nodded.

She stood out in the gangway and found Varric on his way to bed. "Hawke with you, Daisy?"

"Yes."

"Good."

"Yes." Merrill's gaze drifted off. "I think she's broken, Varric."

"She's the Champion of Kirkwall, Daisy, she doesn't break."

"But—"

"You heard me."

Merrill's eyebrows turned up and she frowned. She bit her lip and nodded. "Your stories won't change the truth."

"Blondie really did a number on us all. Healer, my ass. I wish I'd never introduced them."

"Good night, Varric."

"I'm glad you're here, Daisy."

"And where would I have gone? I have no clan, the only thing I have left is broken and weeping in my bed and I'm not as strong as everybody thinks! I can't stand seeing her like this!"

Merrill ran into her room and found Fenris sitting on the bed. He brushed Hawke's hair from her face. "I've never seen her sleep like this. She's not getting any rest."

"You've seen her sleep before?"

He scowled at her.

"Oh, yes, of course. I really need to stop asking stupid questions. We have a very confusing group, don't we?"

Fenris only stared down at Hawke. He sighed. "Get the mage."

"I – I am the mage, Fenris."

"The other one."

"Oh! You mean Anders! But she doesn't want to see him."

"And she won't. She's unconscious. Now go get him."

Merrill brought Anders in.

"She's not sleeping," Fenris said.

"Of course she's sleeping," Anders said. "I can see from here that she's sleeping." Fenris narrowed his gaze at Anders. The mage sat on the other side of her and felt her head. He frowned. "You're right. She's not sleeping."

Anders picked up one of her arms and searched it for wounds and Fenris pulled off the threadbare blanket and examined her legs. Anders motioned to Fenris to roll her over and he pulled her hair up.

Across the back of her neck was an angry red gash. It was a cauterized open wound. Raw, red lyrium was imbedded into the wound. "Maker's breath," Anders said.

Fenris frowned. "Do you really think you can use that name now?"

"She's burned by the corrupted lyrium," he said.

Merrill looked at Fenris, "But you said when that happened to you, it was agonizing."

"It was," he said with a fury. "She's been hiding this suffering from us this whole time. I should kill you myself, mage, but it seems we now need you."

"This must have come from Meredith's blade," Anders said. "I need a room with better light. I need to get these slivers out first."

"Put her in the Captain's Quarters," Isabela said from the doorway. "She'd eventually end up there anyway, right?"

Anders went to lift her and Fenris blocked him. He glared at the mage. "Lead the way, Isabela," Anders said. Fenris carefully picked up Hawke and followed them to Isabela's room.

They laid her down on the table in Isabela's quarters and Anders rolled her over onto her front. "Merrill hold her hair out of the way and Isabela bring more light."

Anders frowned and examined her wound. Flecks of sparkling red lyrium were embedded along the gash. He closed his eyes and held his hand over the wound. His hand lit up a pale blue and the slivers of lyrium were drawn up into his grasp as he passed it over her neck. Anders let out the breath he had been holding and dropped the pieces of lyrium onto a plate on the table.

He leaned in close to her ear. "Hawke," he whispered. "Where are you?"

"This lyrium, it's been… corrupted. Just like the idol," Merrill said.

"Yes, Merrill! Thank you for stating the obvious!" He roared.

"Explain, mage," Fenris replied.

"The lyrium is in her bloodstream now, and neither Merrill nor I could possibly know what this means. She could die or worse, she could become like Meredith or Bartrand, all we can do now is wait."

"Well, that's not exactly the truth now, is it?" Merrill said. Fenris whirled around and glared at her to get an answer.

"We could look for her in the Fade," she said.

"We don't have enough lyrium," Anders sighed.

Merrill looked all around the room, anywhere but at anyone. "We don't need lyrium, I could get you there."

"Blood magic," Anders said and sneered as though he smelled something bad.

"I'd, well, I'd need someone's blood, quite a lot of it, and I could only send one person in, obviously."

"How much blood we talkin', Daisy?"

Anders looked at her and then at Fenris.

"Sacrifice," Fenris said.

"Not necessarily, no," Merrill said. "It doesn't have to all come from the same person. We could all give a little bit or… a medium bit."

"I don't like this, Merrill. We don't even know what we'll find."

"I know that she'll know what to do if we could just talk to her. Hawke always knows what to do," Merrill finished wistfully.

"No— no way," Isabela said. "I love Hawke as much as the rest of you but no way am I going to be too weak to fight if we get boarded by raiders. We'd be sitting ducks, kitten."

"Take my blood," Anders said.

Merrill looked stricken. "I thought you'd be the one to go after her in the Fade."

"How can I? The Fade is Justice's realm, I'm just a bystander. I have no control in the Fade. No, you need to send someone strong, someone who loves her enough, since we have nothing familiar to anchor her to, like we did with Feynriel and his childhood home in the Alienage. We're going to need to anchor her to a person she's familiar with, someone she's been intimate with."

"Brilliant, Anders, more than half the people in this room have been 'intimate' with her," Isabella said.

Varric and Merrill looked at each other and shrugged.

"I'm going to assume he is talking about me, he is not himself in the Fade and we need Isabela to captain her ship," Fenris said. He tapped one gauntleted finger on his mouth and then held it there, deep in thought. "I will do this thing, for Hawke, but I do not like it."

Isabela looked thoughtful. "How much time do we have? I think we should secure the ship for this."

"We don't have long," Anders said. "Justice thinks the longer she's in the Fade, the harder it will be to bring her out. Merrill, collect the blood you need."

The elf nodded and hurried to the ship's galley to procure jars for her endeavor.

"You sure about this, Blondie?"

"No, I'm not sure about anything right now. I do know how those shards corrupted your brother and the Knight-Commander and I am terrified of what they'll do to a mage as powerful as Hawke. I think she retreated to the Fade to contain the corruption."

"Hawke can do that?"

"With that much lyrium in her system, who knows what Hawke could do. At this point I'd guess she could fly this ship to Val Royeaux, but let's hope not. I've got to figure she'd rather be trapped in the Fade than to put any of us at risk."

"Yeah, that sounds like her."

Merrill returned with jars and sat at the table. She cut Isabela first and drained a jar of blood from her. "Ouch! This is going above and beyond my duties!" Isabela complained.

"Oh. So you'd rather she'd let the Qunari take you?" Merrill asked her.

Isabela looked down. "No, no, I guess you're right."

Varric sat down to go next. "This is crazy, Daisy. I'm wondering what Hawke would say about letting us use blood magic in her name."

"Well, since Hawke decided to leave us here to make the decisions, she doesn't get a say in it, now does she?" Merrill asked him as she cut his hand and held it over the jar. "Where did Fenris go?"

"I'll find him," Anders said.

Fenris was up on deck, staring out over the waves.

"Tell me, Fenris, if you loved her so damned much, why did you leave her?"

"That is none of your concern," Fenris answered. "And to clarify, I did not 'leave' her. I needed time to consider our mutual feelings."

Anders' expression raised in surprise. "So what you're saying is she grew tired of waiting for you to make up your mind. Interesting. And yet you still wear her scarf around your wrist, three years later."

"Do you truly love her so much that you would send someone you know she has feelings for to rescue her?"

"Yes," Anders said. "That's what you do when you love someone."

Fenris turned to look at the mage. "Hawke is too important to let die in the Fade, and that is why I'm going."

"You keep telling yourself that, sweetheart," Anders said and went below deck.

Fenris joined them. "What do I do?" He asked Merrill.

"Oh, well, it will be much like the Keeper's ritual with Feynriel. I'm sure there will be different doors to different places in Hawke's life, or it could be whatever Hawke has made of the Fade. You need to find the trigger that will prove to her that she's in the Fade, if she is unaware. Just look around, it might not be obvious right away. It could be anything, a candle, a kitten, a book, something that just seems out of sorts. Pointing it out to her will make her understand, unless it's something that should be there that you're unfamiliar with, then she'll just look at you like you're crazy. I'm babbling, let's get this started," Merrill said and sliced her hand open. She grabbed Fenris' hand with her bloodied one and the Captain's cabin fell away.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Waking

Fenris opened his eyes and found himself in Hawke's room at her estate. Hawke lay next to him, her hair spilled across her pillow. She was asleep.

He stayed and watched her sleep until she opened her eyes.

She chuckled. "What are you doing?"

"I'm… watching you sleep," he admitted.

"That's not creepy at all." She leaned in and kissed him. He could smell the soap she used to clean her leather armor with, a creamy lavender scent that he'd sometimes catch a whiff of when they were in battle. The smell was all over her hair and skin and he wanted so much to bury himself in it. This was Hawke, he could feel her in his arms and moving against his skin and she was as real here as anywhere else.

Fenris pulled away. "No, we can't, I can't," he tried and pulled off the coverlet. He began to pull on his clothes.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

There was a loud bang on the door. "My lady! The Viscount needs to see you right away," Bodahn said from behind the door.

"The Viscount?" Fenris asked. "Viscount Dumar?"

"No, Fenris, the Viscount Tethras. Of course, the Viscount Dumar, who else?" Hawke got out of bed and began to get dressed.

"You coming?" She asked and smiled.

Fenris felt himself slipping. "This is so hard, why didn't they tell me it was going to be like this?"

"Who?"

"Merrill and Anders," he said.

"Well, Merrill is forgetful at best, and who the dice is Anders?"

Fenris' eyebrows raised. "He is… no one."

"So let's go see what the Viscount sent my man running to me about, eh?"

_Viscount Dumar died three years ago, Hawke. Where are you?_

They arrived at the Viscount's Keep and were immediately joined by Aveline. "He's in a right tizzy, Hawke, I'm going to need your help appealing to the Arashok on this one. You come, too, Fenris, you seem to be handy in dealing with the Qunari."

"I wouldn't say I deal with the Qunari at all."

"Whatever, the Arashok seems least annoyed when you're there, so you'll do," Aveline said.

They walked into the Viscount's office. "Serah Hawke, I need to ask another favor from you."

Hawke shrugged. "It must be Tuesday," she said and smiled.

Her smile caused Fenris so much pain, this was the Hawke of three years ago, before magic swallowed her mother whole and left her hollowed out. This was before she took to drinking and sleeping at The Hanged Man with Isabela. This was before Anders had twisted her into his cause. This was his Hawke and he was no longer sure whose dream this was, his or Hawke's.

Fenris hardly heard a word the Viscount said, he had been through this before, the Viscount's son converting to the Qun, the two elven children hiding from the Guard with the Arashok, he'd seen this all play out before. He was curious however about how it would unfold here.

Hawke agreed to go after Saemus, as she did before and she promised Aveline to speak to the Arashok about the fugitives.

When they got back to the estate, of course Isabela was there begging for Hawke's assistance with the relic. This was when it came out that the relic was what the Arashok had been waiting to be restored so the Qunari could return to Par Vollen.

Fenris was quiet and watched. Things unfolded strangely in the Fade, he could sometimes be an observer and other times he could fast forward through the mundane. He became quite adept at picking out the important pieces in Hawke's life, but could find nothing amiss. Nothing except for the significant absence of Anders, of course.

Fenris watched Isabela dramatically enter the Viscount's Keep and save the day. The Qunari left peacefully and it surprised him that Hawke had not wanted to kill the Arashok, that she had not wanted the title of Champion at all.

Bethany and her mother were alive here, and Carver was in business with Varric. It was so easy to relax and rest here with Hawke.

He woke up one morning and she wasn't there.

"I have something for you," she said when she burst into their room. He had never seen her so beautiful.

"A gift? For me?"

"And for me," she said and flopped on their bed. Hawke handed him an official-looking envelope.

Fenris opened it and pulled out the documents inside.

"Read them," she said.

She was patient as he read through the documents. Reading was another gift of hers to him. She had patiently taught him to read over six years ago in the real world.

"They're… citizenship papers," he finally said.

"They are," she replied and tossed them on the floor. She climbed on top of him.

A slow smile came over his face. "I don't understand."

"You are no longer a slave of Tevinter, you are now a free citizen of the Free Marches. The Viscount agreed to grant me one boon for ridding Kirkwall of the Qunari occupation."

"I am unsure of what to say," he replied.

"You could start with, 'Thank you,'" she said and kissed him.

"Thank you," he whispered against her lips.

"And you could end with, 'Why, of course I'll marry you, Hawke.'" She linked her fingers in his and continued her loving assault on him.

Fenris' mind spun like a storm. This was her dream? This was what Hawke had wanted all along? Or after Anders had destroyed everything she had built in Kirkwall? He wanted to throw her off him so he could think and so he couldn't fall so deeply into the Fade with her that he would never get either of them out. Instead he let her sweep him up into her passion and lost the rest of the morning between their sheets.

He woke next to her and watched her sleep. There was no anxiety sitting heavy on her face like there was now. He ran a finger down her bare spine and she shivered a little in her sleep. Hawke was at peace here and it was up to him to shatter that peace and bring her back to the land of the living.

"Wake up, Hawke," he said. She smiled and stretched.

"Fenris?"

"I could stay with you, Hawke, here, if it's what you desire."

"Of course, it's what I desire," she replied. "I want you to stay here with me, and we can have five or six pretty children to sully your mood every day and make you so cranky that you are completely irresistible to me. I don't want anything else but this."

"What would you have told Feynriel if he had begged you to let him stay in the Fade? If he had found his happiness there, where he couldn't find it the real world?"

"Fenris, I don't understand, what does this have to do with anything?"

He sat up and pulled on a pair of breeches. She tried to take his hand, but he got up and stood next to the fire. "You are the most important person in my world."

"And you are to me, as well, Fenris," she said.

Fenris shook his head. "No, you misunderstand. I mean, you are the most important person in my world to _everybody_ and it is ultimately selfish of me to let you stay here with me, no matter how much I desire it."

Her brow crinkled. "I need you stop speaking in circles and just spit it out."

"You are a mage. How do you alert someone that they are in the Fade if they cannot believe you?"

"Well, you would point out the obvious, or you would point out what is missing."

"I wish I could have stayed here with you and met those pretty children, Hawke," he said and found he couldn't look at her. "Get dressed, I need to take you somewhere."

"Fenris, where are we going?"  
>"Just get dressed, and remember this." His jaw played in and out with his tight clenching and his voice was a heavy syrup he found he could not stomach.<p>

Hawke got dressed and he pulled her into his arms. "I will marry you, Hawke, and I'll stay with you in this place if you can tell me that you'd let the world burn all around us for this."

It was her turn to look anguished. "What do you mean, 'let the world burn'?"

"If staying with me meant immeasurable suffering for so many, would you do it?"

"I couldn't say yes to something like that, Fenris, no. I love you, though, I love you in ways that make me ache whenever I look at you, is that not enough?"

He kissed her for a long time. "And this is why there will never be another for me," he said. "Come along, Hawke."

She took his hand and followed him to Darktown. "What are we doing here?"

"There is a healer hidden among the Fereldan refugees here, he is someone I need you to meet."

Fenris pointed at the double doors at the end of Darktown close to the secret entrance of Hawke's cellar door. "Go inside and look around." She began to walk away from him and he pulled her back. He pushed her against the wall and kissed her for the last time. "If it were up to me, I would have let the world burn," he said in a rough voice. "Remember that." He left her.

Hawke frowned and pushed open the doors.

The clinic was full and bustling with people needing medical attention. All around were dirty and hungry faces, children and elderly, pregnant women and injured miners and dockworkers. They were all Fereldans and in the middle of this storm of activity stood the mage Fenris had told her about.

His blonde hair was pulled back in a ponytail and he was squatted down talking to a small dark-haired elven child. He waved his glowing blue hands over her middle and pulled something dark and cloudy away from her body. The child smiled and hugged her doll closer. The mage smiled and rustled the girl's hair.

He stood up and found Hawke staring at him. The entire clinic went on all around them, but the two stood locked in time while everything fell away, just staring at one another.

Hawke felt tears drip off her chin and she wiped them away. She hadn't even known she was crying, or why. Anders nudged people aside as he began to cross the room with increasing intensity until he was right there before her and swept her up in his embrace until her toes just grazed the dirt floor. She pulled his face to hers and cried against his lips while he kissed her like it was the last thing he would ever do.

"Get it out of me, now," she gasped and his eyes glowed with Justice and he magically pulled the corruption from her. They both blasted the red haze with arcane fire until it was nothing but smoke in the clinic.

He pulled her back into his arms. "Come back to me," Anders whispered. "I can't do this without you, Hawke."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Weirder

Hawke sat straight up on Isabela's captain's table and began gasping for air, clutching and clawing at her throat as though she had been underwater for days. Merrill collapsed to the floor.

"Merrill!" Hawke cried.

Anders hurried to the elven mage. "She'll be alright, she just overexerted herself."

"What happened?"

"Meredith," he said. "She nicked you with the blade. You retreated into the Fade rather than let the corruption overtake you."

"I was in the Fade for months, how long was I out?"

"Merrill worked the spell for nearly six hours, I thought I was going to have to compel myself into blood magic and take over for her but you woke up."

"Maker," Hawke mumbled. "You sent Fenris for me, didn't you? He was real."

Anders nodded.

"Come here," she told him and he stepped closer. Hawke wrapped herself around him, the feathers on his coat rustling beneath her arms. "It was you. You saved me, Anders. You pulled the corruption out of me."

Anders stared at the ground. "You know that was your version of me in the Fade, don't you? You saved you."

Hawke nodded. "Could someone get Merrill off the floor and into a bed?"

Anders picked the elf up and put her on Isabela's bed. He snuck off while Varric and Isabela questioned Hawke about the Fade.

He found Fenris on deck.

"I gave her back to you," Fenris said.

"What do you mean?"

"It was ridiculous. She would have married me in the Fade." Fenris scowled. "You want to know what it was that was obviously amiss, the only way to prove to her that she was in the Fade?"

"I don't know," Anders answered.

"It was you, mage. She had never met you in our world in the Fade. You were the only inconsistency."

Anders nodded. "I see."

"No, you do not see," Fenris roared. "I gave her back because I asked her if she would see the world burn to keep me with her and she told me she could not. I know without a shadow of a doubt that you will burn the world without her and so I made the decisionthat she needed to come back to _leash_ you, mage! I would have stayed had she said 'let it all burn'. _I_ would have let it burn!" Fenris raged in front of Anders. "I was her desire, I was her choice, and you are nothing but her _burden_. I want you to never forget that."

"For what it is worth, thank you, Fenris."

"It is worth exactly nothing." The elf waved him off with his gauntleted hand.

Anders left him to his grief. He found Hawke in the galley clutching a warm tea mug between her hands. She pointed to the seat across from her.

"I spoke to Fenris," Anders said.

Hawked nodded.

"He told me that I wasn't in your life there."

"Maybe if you had entered the Fade instead of Fenris it would have been different."

"I suppose you're right, but I can't help but think that you don't really want to be with me."

Hawke reached across the table and cupped his cheek with her warm palm. "When exactly was it that you stopped believing in me?"

He took her hand and smiled. "Never. I never stopped believing in you."

"Yes, you did, but I think I will someday learn to forgive that." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "But, I think the three of us need to talk."

Anders' eyebrows rose slowly. "This is not going to be good."

Hawke left him in the galley and went in search of Fenris. She found him where Anders had left him. He couldn't look at her but noted her presence with a slight nod.

"I can't let the world burn just to be with you," she said. "But I can't bear the thought of living without you."

His hands crept up into her hair and he pressed his forehead to hers. Fenris closed his eyes. "The very idea makes me want to die, Hawke."

"Then I think we need to talk to Anders, but I'm going to warn you, you're not going to like what I have to say."

He straightened up and nodded.

They went to the galley and the three of them sat at a table. Merrill and Varric were making some tea and looked at one another.

"We'll, uhh, just get out of your way, Hawke, but I need to talk to you later," Varric said and left with Merrill.

Hawke closed her eyes and pulled herself together. "Okay, here it is," she began. "We just plunged the world into chaos, so I pretty much think us fighting over who is sleeping with me is irrelevant. Anders and I are fugitives, period. Anders murdered a grip of innocent people and I may as well have worked the spell myself after I defended and protected him when it was all said and done. And I think it goes without mentioning that Sebastian will likely be hunting us, as well. Like it or not, Anders and I are now in this together, we're the faces of the Mage Revolution."

Fenris steeled his jaw and looked away. "I don't like where this is going, Hawke," he said.

"Please let me finish, I haven't gotten to you yet," she said. Anders looked pained. "We are going to have to help the other Circles, because this isn't going to end in Kirkwall. When the other Circles hear what happened here, the Chantries are going to fall and we need to be there to make sure what happened here _does not_ happen all over Thedas.

Anders, while your intentions were sound, you were wrong. If you had trusted me from the beginning, you would have let me help you. We can do this together, but we cannot continue taking the lives of innocents or I cannot be with you and that would surely break my heart more than what happened today."

Anders swallowed and wiped at his eyes. "Okay," he said.

"But Anders, I'm going to be honest, I love you both, so much in a sense that I no longer can choose between the two of you. I need you both in what is to come, so this isn't just about who is in my bed, but it's about keeping me sane so we can do this.

Varric and Isabela are both right now practicing their good-bye speeches, so this is going to be up to us because I'm taking Merrill to Amaranthine and I'm leaving her with the Grey Wardens, I need her safer than with me.

My heart belongs to both of you equally. I am nothing without the two of you, even as much as you detest the other's presence. I'm asking you to put aside your differences while we _fix_ this." She looked pointedly at Anders. "We're focusing on the fewer casualties part, not the injustice part, you are welcome to disagree but I'm going to get that frowny disappointed look on my face and I _may_ even cross my arms."

"So what _exactly_ are you suggesting, love?" Anders asked.

She took each of their hands from across the table. "Stay with me, both of you. I'm not suggesting we all jump into bed together, I'm not Isabela. And I'm not suggesting that I subject either of you to displays of affection with the other person. But I am suggesting that you understand that I love both of you and I may spend alone time with one of you from time to time."

"I am uncertain I can do this, Hawke," Fenris finally said.

"And what is the alternative? You would leave me?" She took his hand.

"I can't leave you," he said. "Not again."

"And what of me, the man you've been with for the last three years, don't I get a say in this?"

"I'm sorry, Anders, I'm so sorry. I'll speak with both of you privately before either of you make a decision."

Fenris stood up. "I'd like to speak with you now, if I could."

Hawke nodded and led him to her cabin. She took a seat on the bed and let him pace.

"I don't know if I can share you."

"Isn't it better than not being with me at all?"

"I don't know!" He crossed the room and pinned her to the bed. "I just don't know. Why do you love him so much?"

"You want to know why I love Anders and not why I love you?"

"Yes. Make me understand what it is that is worth this much pain."

"He may be misguided but he did this for me. He did this because he knows the chances of my having a mage child are high and he did it for that child, as well. They take us away from our families and tell us that we are mistakes, Fenris. Am I a mistake?"

"You love him because he has a cause?"

"No, you're right, it's not just the cause," she said. "I love him because when I look at him, no, I will not put you through this. He has a tremendous heart, Fenris, more than you would credit him with."

"And then why would you ask this of me, if he has such a tremendous heart, why do you need me?"

"Because when I am in the same room with you, there is nobody else. Because you make the world fall away with just one glance. Because you take my breath away when you touch me. Because I feel like you make me whole. And because you're the only person in the world I feel safe with."

Fenris moved his mouth over hers, tasting her lips. "Would it make you happy if I agreed to do this?"

"It would, it's the only solution I have right now, besides chances are, we won't all survive this war," she said.

"You will not die, swear to me."

"I'm not sure, say it again?"

He kissed her again, rough this time as though the thought of losing her made him cling to her more. "The jealousy might drive me mad."

"I know and I would not ask something like this of you if I thought I could do it another way. I love him, too, I can't change that."

"So what will happen if we do this?"

"I haven't thought that far ahead. Some nights I'll be with you, some nights, I'll be with him, and some nights I'll just ignore you both equally."

"Will it just be the three of us fighting your war?"

"No, but it will be in the beginning, this is not their fight, I need to let them out here."

"This is not my fight either," he said.

"It is as long as you want to make mad passionate love to an apostate mage, Fenris."

"Touché."

"So you'll deal with this?"

"If it means I get to do this on occasion, then I suppose I cannot refuse." He crushed her to him until she could feel his heart pounding hard against his chest. "I need you, Hawke, this is the certainty of it."

"I need to talk to Anders," she finally said.

"Agreed," he said and stood. He reached out and touched her cheek. "As always, I am yours, do what you must."

Fenris left and Anders came in.

He looked furious. His eyes glowed blue with Justice. "I cannot allow you to do this to him, it is wrong," he said.

"Justice?"

"You ask too much, you cannot expect him to watch you dally with that elf."

"Has it not been unfair to me that I have had to be in a relationship with you for the last three years? I know you are constantly there, watching and judging me and I don't love you. I think what you are doing to him is monstrous and if I could drive you from him, I would. When he makes love to me, did you know, he sometimes changes to you and when it happens, I feel like I've been violated? I have never given you permission to touch me and yet it happens more often than I'd like. Has that been fair to me?"

Anders eyes faded to his light brown. "I had no idea, love," he said. "Oh, Maker, what have I done to us? To you? That you would turn to a man that hates everything we stand for?"

"He fought the Templars at the Gallows, Anders."

"He did that for you."

"And the difference is?"

He sat on the bed. "I can do this because I love you and I would hate to see you unhappy and I cannot bear to lose you, not after you've stood by me through everything. The circle was rampant with non-traditional relationships, so it's nothing I haven't seen before. I'd even have him sleep in our bed if you asked."

"That would be… weird. Are you being honest with me or are you still trying to atone?"

"Yes? No? Maybe? Does it even matter? I've agreed. Did he?"

"He did."

"Yes, of course. He's just traded one master for another, if you want to know what I think."

"I think that's undeserved. He loves me as much as you do."

"And he's said as much?"

"Not in so many words, he's not as free with his affection as you are," she admitted.

"I'm beginning to think that the lyrium did corrupt something in you, but I'll follow your lead. What happens next?"

"We take this cause in hand, we'll need to find others who will join our fight, though, two mages and a sword aren't going to protect all of these Circles alone. And, Anders? There will be a great many blood mages to contend with now that you've brought down the wall."

"I agree," he said. "We saw enough of that in Kirkwall."

"Did you have a plan beyond 'chantry go boom'?"

"Not really, no, I didn't think I'd live this long," he said and stared hard at the floor.

"And yet, you were perfectly willing to die for your cause and leave me to clean up the mess," she mumbled to herself.

She was quiet for a moment and then she crossed over to where he sat on the bed and squatted down between his legs to make him look her in the eye. "Anders, did you really believe I'd kill you?"

"I don't know, I think I had convinced myself that you would."

Hawke sat in his lap and wrapped her legs around his waist. "Do you know nothing about me? I am agonized by what you did and yet I cannot stop loving you. I'd no sooner kill you than I would blow up a chantry."

Anders looked distraught and his eyes were wet with tears. He put his hands on her face. "I was so sure I'd lose you forever. And I did, in a way, I lost a part of you to Fenris, didn't I?"

"You murdered innocent people, Anders, did you think nothing would change? I'm doing the best I can."

He nodded and touched her lips with his thumb. "I will have to live with the memory of the look in your eyes when it happened for the rest of my life."

"You're doing it again," she said.

"Doing what?"

"Talking when you should be doing this," she said and kissed him while she tore off his coat. He wrapped his hands in her hair and pulled her onto the bed.

When they were finished making up, she got dressed and asked him to meet her in the galley. The others were already there. She took a seat next Fenris and the others joined them. Anders came in and stood in the doorway.

Hawke took a deep breath. "Okay. So, here is what is going to happen. Isabela is going to take Bodhain, Sandal, and Orana to Val Royeaux. She will then take Varric back to Kirkwall and then the rest of us to Amaranthine. That should keep us on the sea long enough to lose any Templars we might have on our trail.

Once we are in Amaranthine, we will leave Merrill with the Grey Wardens. We are also going in the hopes that Anders can secure help from the Warden-Commander, since, she, too, was once a Circle Mage, and a cousin of mine, it would seem." She sat back and waited for the arguments.

Varric just stared at her from across the table. "Hawke," he began.

She waved him off. "This isn't negotiable. You have House Tethras to run and that is in Kirkwall. I need you in Kirkwall managing intel."

He sighed and nodded. "This isn't how I foresaw our relationship culminating."

"Get in line," she said.

Varric smiled.

Merrill looked shocked. "I – I do not want to become a Grey Warden," she said.

"Merrill…"

"No. I go where you go, Hawke, you are my clan. This is not negotiable, as you say." She looked adamant.

Hawke let out a heavy sigh. "Trust me, Merrill, when I say it's going to be weirder than usual."

Fenris and Anders glared at each other from across the room.

Isabela narrowed her gaze and smiled. "I'll just bet."

"No arguments from you, Isabela?"

"None, I want nothing to do with your silly Templar war. Although, I shall miss shamelessly flirting with you and the occasional grapple."

Hawke smiled wistfully. "I'll just bet."

They ate and talked and toasted into the night. The conversations turned to fallen foes, and missed comrades and then Anders stood and announced he was headed to bed. He looked pointedly at Hawke. "Are you coming?"

"No, you go ahead," she said.

Fenris was already gone, without having said anything to her or anyone. It was only her and Varric left. He poured her another drink.

"What shall I do without my trusty dwarf?" She asked and then she began to cry in earnest. "I'm so sorry," she said and clamped her hand over her mouth. "I know how you hate to see humans cry."

"You're drunk, Hawke," he replied. "What's going on with you, Blondie, and Broody?"

"I'm completely broken. I couldn't give either of them up, so I'm forcing them to accept I'll be sleeping with both of them, just, you know, not at the same time."

"That sounds like something I'd make up about you," Varric said. "But in reality, you're way too much woman for one man anyway, so who's to say this isn't going to work out?"

She stifled her sobs to sniffles and looked at him. "You're the only one I know who could make a situation like this seem even remotely rational, I swear."

"I do what I can."

She looked tired and rested her head on the table. "I have a gift for you, Varric," she said. "I didn't want to do this when I was shit-faced, but I can't seem to put it off any longer."

"I do _not_ want to see you naked, Hawke, you're just not my type."

She grinned. "One of these days, dwarf, I shall have you."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Here," she said and pushed him something wrapped in a scarf.

"What is it?" Varric eyed it suspiciously. Hawke wouldn't have wrapped something that wasn't exceptionally important to her.

He opened it. It was a book.

"It's my journal. I want you to keep it."

"I can't keep this, Hawke," he said.

"I need you to, you must keep it safe, you must tell others the truth. This is a story that needs to be told. I am safeguarding my tale with you."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. This is actually the only certainty I have at the moment, you are the only one I can trust with this, Varric. I need you to tell _your_ tale of Hawke and when the time comes, I need you to tell _my_ tale of Hawke, the real story, and you'll know when that time comes."

He nodded and took the book. "I'll do my best, Hawke."

"You don't need to do your best, you just need to keep doing what you do, and that is tell stories."

"I'll tell your story to anyone who will listen. But, what should I say about Anders?"

"The truth. Anders did what he thought was right, no matter what the consequence, no matter if he lost the woman he loved and all of his friends, he was willing to sacrifice it all for the oppression he felt he needed to lift. That isn't something? Someday, he'll be the one called the Champion, not me."

"I wouldn't go that far."

Hawke stood up and kissed the dwarf on the cheek. "I'll miss you the most, my dearest, closest friend." And she went to Merrill's room.

She crawled into bed with her.

"Why do I get the feeling that there are two very upset boys out there because you're too chicken to face either of them?"

"I love you, Merrill, but shut up and go to sleep."

"And why aren't you sleeping with Isabela? She has a bigger bed!"

"Because if I sleep with Isabela, Fenris and Anders will think I'm _sleeping_ with Isabela, and that just complicates things."

"Oh, really? Good to know I'm _safe_," she said crossly and punched her pillow into shape and flipped over to give Hawke her back.

"Weirder than usual, like I said," Hawke said and fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Warden

The next couple of weeks were quiet and tense on the boat. While they enjoyed the pleasure of each other's company, this was ultimately the end of an era and it made everyone uncomfortable and anxious. Fenris and Anders had settled into an unspoken treaty of silence, mostly just to stay out of the other's way.

Anders and Hawke would retreat into the galley and go over maps of the Circles of Thedas, trying to decide on a plan of action once they spoke to the Warden-Commander.

At Val Royeaux, Orana's departure was not without tears, and while Bodhain had promised to look after the servant elf, she was distraught to lose her mistress and Fenris. Bodhain was relieved to have her, however, as she looked after Sandal when he wasn't able.

A few weeks later, they dropped anchor in the port at Amaranthine. Hawke stood on the dock, bag in hand, and tried to say good-bye to the pirate who had meant so much to her.

"Shut up, Hawke, I don't want to hear it," Isabela said and kissed her. "You take care of those two imbeciles for me, eh? And don't kill Kitten, she really doesn't know any better."

Hawke nodded and swallowed around the lump in her throat. "Take care, Isabela."

"If you need me, give this jack to any sailor with this tattoo, you should find plenty of them at any disgusting port or tavern on the Waking Sea," she handed her a small folded flag and pointed to a tattoo on her arm. "They'll find me faster than you can and I'll be there for you, Hawke, I promise. I know I'm a fair weather girl, but I still owe you."

Hawke nodded. Isabela kissed Fenris and Anders good-bye and she consoled Merrill who was trying to put on her brave face.

"No worries, Kitten, I'm like bad coin, I always turn up, we'll see each other again."

Merrill blinked back tears and nodded.

Isabela left them and they looked around. Amaranthine had been ravaged by darkspawn six years prior, and it still looked it. The Grey Warden-Commander had abandoned the city to flames so she could save Vigil's Keep and hope had seemed to have gone up in the devastation, for there was no hope left in Amaranthine. At least, that was Hawke's immediate estimation.

Anders looked around grimly. "Bad memories," he said.

"I'm sure that's not an uncommon occurrence for you," Fenris said.

"Shut up," Anders replied.

Before he could lead them away from the harbor, Merrill clapped her staff on the dock and cried, "You will come no further, blighter!"

They all turned and saw him standing at the end of the dock. He was no longer in the armor, opting for something less conspicuous than Templar robes, but his fair, curled hair and hazel eyes were a dead giveaway.

"Ho, Hawke, I mean you no trouble!" He called. "Call off your apostate."

"What are you doing here, Cullen?" She called back.

"Looking for you and filled with relief to find you unharmed, Serah Hawke."

"Go home, Cullen, there's nothing for you here." She walked past him and kept going.

"The Warden-Commander is here."

Hawke stopped and turned around to face him.

"And what business do you have with the Hero of Fereldan?"

"I need her help."

She walked up to Cullen and looked him square in the eyes. "Are you here to kill Anders?"

"No," Cullen replied.

"Take us in?"

"No," he repeated.

"What would the Knight-Captain of Kirkwall ask of the Warden-Commander?" Her eyes narrowed.

"I could ask you the same if I didn't already know you and the Warden-Commander have the same name, and that Anders was a Grey Warden, here in Amaranthine," Cullen said. "It was plain where you would seek refuge, serah, and I told none of my fellows nor brought a single Templar with me, does that not account for anything?"

"Oh, this is getting good, I wish I had a snack," Merrill said.

"I'm here on honest business, Serah Hawke. The Circle has fallen in Kirkwall, and there are more abominations now then I have seen in all my years as a Templar. The Hero of Fereldan saved the Circle once, and I go to ask her help to do so again."

"There is no Circle to save, Cullen."

"Not in Kirkwall there isn't, but would you see what happened in Kirkwall happen to the other Circles? There were too many casualties, Hawke, this cannot be allowed to spread."

"And what of your feelings toward my companions?"

"I will put them aside for now. I need your assistance as much as I do the Warden-Commander's. I only want to put this right, Hawke, there are mages who have never lived outside Templar rule, this is going to be terrifying for them."

"So, what, you want to go rounding them up with me? We fight magical crime now?"

"No, but I want to do what I can and I can't do that as a Templar without a Circle. The time has come for me to step up, I should have done it for her eight years ago. I'm so damnably stubborn."

"Eight? The Blight was only seven years ago."

Cullen frowned.

"Oh, Maker, you knew her before she became a Grey Warden, didn't you, Cullen?"

"I did."

"And you wanted to impress her then?" Hawke crossed her arms.

"I did."

"And you failed miserably," it was a statement, not a question.

He looked away. "I did."

"And now you have nothing left except the opportunity to become the big damned hero that you've had floating in your head for the last eight years?"

He sighed. "Please, Hawke, I need to do this."

"Come along, Cullen, who am I to deny a man in love?"

"What?" Anders cried out. "You can't expect me to sleep with the Knight-Captain around, do you?"

Fenris stopped and walked up to Cullen. He looked him straight in the eye. "I don't think he's Knight-Captain any longer."

"Once a Templar, always a Templar. Hawke, you can't be serious."

Hawke whirled around on Anders and gave him pause. "He raised his sword between his Knight-Commander and me, Anders. Cullen fought Meredith alongside you. He's coming with us, end of argument."

Cullen smiled and picked up his pack. "She's a bit like her, you know."

Anders shook his head. "Oh. I know she is. They both dragged me to the blighted Deep Roads, I'm well aware."

Hawke shouldered her pack. "Which way?" She asked Anders.

Anders led them out of the city and on the road to Vigil's Keep. It was dark when they arrived, the gates were closed, but the torches were lit.

The distinct sound of a bow being tautly drawn broke the silence of the plains surrounding the area. "Hold," said a rough voice from the roof of the Keep.

"Anders!" Another, but this time distinctly female voice called from the roof. "This had better not be about that stupid cat again!"

"Warden-Commander?" Anders answered.

"Nathaniel has you dead to rights, tell me why you're here."

"Then ask Nathaniel to look closer at who accompanies me," Anders replied.

They heard the bow relax. A few minutes later Nathaniel opened the gates of the Keep and came out. "Serah Hawke," he replied and bowed graciously. "You'll forgive us for being cautious."

"No need to explain, Nathaniel."

"There have been some terrible rumors with Anders at the center as of late."

"I realize. We have been travelling for weeks, however, would it be too much to ask for an audience with the Warden-Commander _inside_?"

Nathaniel scowled. "Of course, of course, Champion," he said.

"Please, do not call me that, I am no longer the Champion of Kirkwall."

His scowl softened. "Come inside, please."

They entered the throne room, looking the worse for wear. A woman was standing and conferring with several Grey Wardens. She turned and shot a smile in Hawke's direction.

Hawke's eyebrows rose up. She looked quite a bit like Bethany, and Hawke hadn't expected that. Fenris looked at her questioningly.

"She looks like my sister," Hawke told him.

Fenris turned and reevaluated the Warden. The Warden came to greet their small group. "Anders," she said and hugged him warmly. "We have much to discuss, it would seem."

"Yes, it would seem," he replied and it suddenly occurred to Hawke how much older Anders looked after the event at the Chantry. "This is –"

"The Champion of Kirkwall, of course, I'm so happy to finally meet you. Both Nathaniel and Alistair have talked of little else since meeting you. And, it would seem your mother is an Amell, so I think we should find where our family tree converges! It would be so nice to have family, not that this lot hasn't been family to me."

"Please, Warden-Commander, call me Hawke," she said and held out her hand.

"And you can call me Fable," the Hero said. "But surely Hawke isn't your first name."

"It's Rhiannon, but I actually do go by my family name."

Fable smiled, "Very well, Hawke." Her gaze turned to the others in their group and they froze on the former Templar. "Cullen?"

He took a tentative step forward. "Fable Amell, it's been a long time."

"How –"

"He ambushed me on the docks in Amaranthine and practically begged me to bring him along. You know how it goes," Hawke said.

"Haha, everyone wants to jump on the bandwagon as soon as you're off to save the world, but mention a Broodmother and all of a sudden you're twisting arms to get anyone's help," Fable said. "Maker, I haven't seen you since that business with Uldred."

He nodded. "I wanted to apologize for my behavior then."

Fable waved him off, "No, Cullen, it's okay. I'm surprised to see you with apostates, though."

"Stranger things have happened. This apostate has more than proven herself, and I think we're going to need to get behind her to fix this mess."

"This is Fenris and Merrill, two of my closest companions."

Fable smiled and greeted them both. "You're Dalish, aren't you?" She asked Merrill. "We had a Dalish Warden once, she was a little… off-balance."

"Oh, Merrill will top her, believe me. More whacky, less vengeancy," Anders said.

"I'm going to need to know what happened in Kirkwall," Fable said. "And I'm going to need to know as a Mage, this is not Warden business, I'm going to put that out there right now."

Hawke nodded.

"First things first, get these people fed, Seneschal. And they need some rest. We'll talk more tomorrow. It's so good to see you, Anders!"

Hawke turned and watched Cullen follow the Warden-Commander out with his gaze. She smiled. "I waited six years for Fenris," she whispered to him. "It gets heavy, doesn't it?"

He looked surprised. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about that torch that you haven't put down in eight years," she said and followed the Seneschal to the mess hall.

After supper, they sat in the library talking about the fall of the Kirkwall Circle. Fable listened quietly while they each had their say and then she sat back in her chair and stared into the fire.

"What are we to do, then?"

"It depends, are you a Mage or a Warden?" Anders asked her.

She chuckled. "I know which you'd choose, certainly."

"Please, cousin, we need your help," Hawke implored.

Fable frowned at this. "I'd like to hear from you, Ser Cullen." She turned and looked at him. He was leaning against the doorframe and looked suddenly put on the spot. "You say that this was all because of Meredith's corruption, yet, you don't stay to clean up the mess and rebuild. Surely it's over with the death of the Knight-Commander."

Cullen raised an eyebrow. "I will return, certainly, but it was not just Meredith, Fable, it was deficient, the entire system. If it had just been Knight-Commander Meredith and one Circle, then the peril of the rest of the Circles revolting would not subsist. Yet, here we face such a peril."

"So you want to rebuild the Circles?" Fable asked him.

"Do you believe they should all be free?"

"I have been free of the Circle for so long that I have forgotten what it would be like if I could no longer leave of my own will," Fable said. "Knight-Captain, would you like it if I locked you in your room tonight and explained to you that I would not let you leave the Keep for the safety of Thedas? That I believe a renegade Templar is just too dangerous to others?" She stood up and squared her shoulders at him.

"I think that depends if you're in the room with him or not," Merrill mumbled.

Cullen took a deep breath and walked up to Fable. "What would you do with the mages then? Tell me, because right here, right now, you have the attention of a high-ranking Templar who is more than willing to listen to reason."

Fable dropped back into her chair. "There must be another way," she said. "But I see Cullen's point, Anders. Would you have maleficars taking over?"

"Mages are free in Tevinter," he said.

"The mages in Tevinter are all corrupt, there is chaos in the streets, there is slavery and magical duels to the death right in the market square. Would you have the rest of Thedas become the Tevinter Imperium?" Fenris asked heatedly.

"Hawke?" Fable asked.

"The Dalish do not imprison their mages," she began. "They educate them and if one becomes possessed, they hunt the mage down and destroy them. Who is to say this is not the right way? What if the Templars were part of the Circle and not the Chantry?"

Cullen's expression screwed into one of repulsion. "You would have the Templars be under Mage rule?"

"And why not?" Fable asked. "Templars use magic to temper the mages' powers, why not open your ranks to other mages? I don't think this is a terrible notion, Cullen."

"You mean turn the Templars into an elite force to police magic rather than imprison it?" Cullen turned to face the fireplace. "I have to admit, I hadn't thought of it. That would mean we would have to convince the Templar order to serve the mages rather than the Divine."

Hawke nodded. "Well, we've been looking for a direction. The insurrection will continue throughout Thedas, we will have to travel to spread the word quickly. The only mages that should be locked in towers should be maleficars."

"Hawke," Merrill said. "Would you consider me a maleficar?"

"Merrill, you're a blood mage, it only leads to a dark path," Hawke said.

"And Anders? He's possessed by a Spirit."

"Not a demon," he said.

"Is that where Justice ended up?" Fable said. She walked up to Anders and put her hands on his face. "Are you serious?"

"I – yes."

Fable pressed her forehead to Anders' and took a deep breath. "My poor, sweet friend," she whispered. "I can hardly even feel you anymore." She pulled back and looked at Anders with horror. "What have you done to him, Anders?"

"I – look, can we talk about it later, in private?" He asked.

She narrowed her gaze at him and nodded.

"I believe the Circles are needed to educate, but not imprison," Anders said, getting the conversation back on track. "If it was treated as a school and not a sentence, I could get behind that. There will be numbers of mages that will want to stay, why could they not be made teachers instead? But no more locks, no more punishment for being born a mage."

"This isn't going to be perfect," Cullen said. "There's going to be resistance."

"But, at the very least, we have a plan," Hawke replied.

"There's that," Cullen agreed. "I know that I'm probably in agreement with Fable that we should start at the Fereldan Circle in Lake Calenhad."

Fable bit her lip. "I… will need to discuss that with… someone in Denerim."

Hawke's eyebrow pitched up.

"And I will need to send for a replacement to take care of the Keep, the only person I would leave in charge here, we'll be taking with us."

"Thought you'd never ask," Nathaniel said from the doorway.

Fable smiled and Cullen frowned.

"So we head to Denerim while you wait for your replacement?" Hawke asked.

"Hmm, I suppose we do. Nathaniel, you're the only one I trust with this, tell no one of our mission. Not even Oghren, he stays. Be ready to leave in the morning, hopefully we can get the permission we need and head off this rebellion before it begins."

Nathaniel nodded and disappeared into the Keep.

Hawke's gaze narrowed at her cousin. "Did I hear you right? Did you say, '_permission_'?"

Fable's frown deepened. "It's complicated, Hawke, please just leave it."

"As you say," Hawke replied. "I'm ready for bed, are there guest rooms? Or would you rather we bunked in your barracks?"

"The Seneschal shall show you to your rooms. The Howes were nothing but over-gracious in their hospitality to overnight guests. I'm sure we'll find a room for each of you."

Anders got up and nodded at Hawke, but took a seat with the Warden-Commander on a settee. "Fable and I have some things to discuss," he said. "About Justice."

"Yes, of course," she said and followed the Seneschal up the stairs.

She got to her room and sat on the bed. Hawke paced the room and then went in search of Fenris.

"Can I come in?"

"You need to ask?" He was sitting next to the fire. She took the seat across from him.

"What are your thoughts on this?"

"I think you and Anders are too idealistic for your own good."

Her mouth turned up into a small grin. "I can always count on you for honesty."

"That's not all, I hope," he replied.

She stood up and turned toward the mantle.

"Is there something else you wanted?" He teased.

Hawke shook her head.

Fenris abandoned the chair and stood behind her. He ran the back of his hand softly against her cheek and she closed her eyes. "Command me, Hawke," he whispered into her hair. "I am yours."

She twisted around and lost herself in kissing him. Her fingers reached up and tangled themselves in his hair. "Please, Fenris," she said. "I know it was difficult for you last time, but when we were in the Fade…"

"As I said, Hawke, I am yours," he replied and began unbuckling her armor.

"And I am yours," she breathed.

"Not yet you're not, but I'll work on that."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Wrapped

The trip to Denerim was uneventful, marked with only the occasional bandit encounter. They arrived and Fable took them to the gates of the Royal Palace.

Anders leaned into Hawke, "I don't really enjoy the idea of being somewhere I can't easily escape."

Hawke nodded. "Fable, are you sure this is a good idea, if they know what Anders did, they'll have to arrest him."

"It'll be fine," she replied in a low voice. "Trust me, Anders."

Cullen caught up to Fable. "Wait," he said. "We're not here to ask _him_ for permission, are we?"

Fable scowled. "I don't want to talk about it, Cullen," she said.

"He's not going to like it," Cullen said. "He won't get involved with Chantry politics. I was there when Meredith confronted him in Kirkwall."

"He doesn't have to like it, but he deserves a warning," she said.

Teagan came out of the throne room to greet the Warden-Commander. "Well, now, there's the sunshine on this drab Fereldan day," he said. "It has been far too long since the Hero of Fereldan has graced us with her presence, Fable. He's missed you and it makes him grumpy."

Fable straightened up and pushed her chin out a little. She looked put out. "How is he, Teagan?"

"He's been better, you promised to help him more, and you've spent most of your time at the Keep."

"I'm sorry, Teagan, it's just…," she bit her lip and looked down. "The Wardens need me right now," she finished.

"Yes, I'm sure it's the Wardens keeping you away," he said. "This way, all of you. It's good to see you again, Serah Hawke."

"And you, Messere."

Alistair was pacing when they walked in, he lit up when he saw the Warden-Commander and suddenly Hawke understood everything.

"Seriously, Alistair? In here?" Fable asked and motioned to the throne room.

"No, quite right," he replied. "The kitchen then? I could murder a chicken."

"Better."

"Hawke! Good to see you and you're with… Ser Cullen? Take my advice Hawke, he really, _really_ doesn't like mages."

"You have an exemplary memory, your Highness," Cullen replied.

"Well, it's not every day you get into an argument with a magically imprisoned Templar who randomly admits he's got the hots for your girl," Alistair said and shrugged.

Hawke's eyebrows rose. "Nice palace you have here, it's very castle-y."

They all went to the kitchen and sat at the servant's table and ate dinner with the King of Fereldan. Fenris looked over at Hawke, "You promised to take me to strange places, but this is… farther than my imagination allowed," he said.

She smiled.

"Now, as good as the cheese is here, I'm pretty sure you didn't come to the palace to eat in the kitchen, my dear."

Fable blinked a couple of times and looked away. "Something has happened, Alistair."

"Is it darkspawn? Please tell me it's darkspawn, if I have to hear one more petition," he said.

"It's not darkspawn, Highness," Hawke began. "Do you remember what you said about Knight-Commander Meredith when we met in Kirkwall?"

"Yes, the swooping and emasculating, don't remind me, I've only met one woman scarier and she pawned her daughter off on us," Alistair said. "And please, call me Alistair, especially when we're just sitting around a kitchen table."

"Let's just say she pushed everyone too far," Hawke said and looked at Anders sitting across the table from her. He was staring at his hands with their palms placed firmly on the wood. She caught a blue glint in his eyes and she shook her head slowly. "Now's not the time," she whispered to him.

"How far is too far?" Alistair asked.

"The mages have revolted in Kirkwall and they've sent word to all of the Circles," Cullen said.

"Is Meredith dead?"

"Yes, by Hawke and her companions, and myself, she was corrupted by some kind of lyrium in her sword."

"So then that's it then, why would the rest of the Circles revolt?"

Anders slapped his hands on the table. "Because they are imprisoned slaves! Because they are oppressed! Because they are abused and made Tranquil if they don't conform! Must I explain this to a former Templar?"

Alistair's expression turned to surprise. "Is he always like this?"

Fable stood up, both of her hands on the table, unable to face her love. "He blew up the Chantry of Kirkwall."

"He what?" Alistair cried.

"He's my friend, Alistair, and I owe him my life. At the very least, you can give us a head start."

"You're going with him?"

"I came to warn you that the Circle of Mages in Lake Calenhad will be revolting. We're going to keep the casualties to a minimum and we're going to offer them an alternative."

"I can't believe what I'm hearing! Nevermind, I should have expected this from you."

It was Fable's turn to look surprised. "Alistair, I am a Circle Mage, but I came to the Grey Wardens for trying to help a mage escape! It is a terrible life! We get taken from our parents and we live in a grip of fear day after day!"

"And what is this solution you lot feel you've come up with?"

Hawke stood up and relieved Fable. She put her hand on her cousin's shoulder. "We think that the answer is in the Templars. They should be with the mages, not against them. If the Templars were part of the Circle and not the Chantry, they could recruit mages into their ranks as well. We could make the Circles mandatory schools of magic, but not prisons. They don't have to stay locked inside and they shouldn't be told that they are abhorrent mistakes, they are from the Maker as everyone else." She snuck a glance to see how he was taking it, but he still looked like he was ready to rip Anders apart. "My example before was the Dalish, their mages are not locked up, but if one turns to a demon, they all hunt the mage down and kill them. That is how it should be, the bad should be punished, which is why Templars are needed, but all mages should not be judged and sentenced on the actions of a few. Fable and I have never turned to demons or blood magic, I'm sure we're not the minority.

And, Fable told us what you told her about the lyrium. You said that you think the Chantry might be enabling the Templars lyrium addiction needlessly."

Alistair softened his glare at the mention of the Warden-Commander. He sighed. "I can't stand with you or even behind you on this. The best I can do is be obnoxiously slow to react, which people expect from me."

Fable sat down. "Thank you, Alistair."

He put his hand on hers and she ripped it away as though it burned.

"How are you going to convince the Templars? This goes against everything they believe."

"That's going to be my job," Cullen said. "And trust me when I say I know exactly what they believe. But more Templars than you'd realize are sympathetic to the mages' plight. You for one, didn't have the stomach for it."

"Yes, don't remind me," Alistair agreed. "Will you stay here tonight?"

"Yes," Hawke said.

"No," Fable said at the same time.

"May I speak with you alone?" Alistair asked her.

"I don't think that's a good idea," she said and excused herself from the table.

"We'll be at the Gnawed Noble," Hawke said. "I'll talk to her. Come by later tonight."

Alistair nodded. "I don't know why it's so hard between us now."

"Because you can't marry her, you can't acknowledge your relationship with her and she's afraid that if the status of mages changes, you will still snub her. And she can't move on because you won't let her go. Are you really so thick?" Hawke asked him and she followed her cousin. Anders trailed after her.

"Is she always like that?" Alistair asked them.

"No," Fenris replied. "She's usually more sardonic."

Alistair brightened. "I should introduce her to my sister!"

At the Gnawed Noble, Hawke knocked on the Warden's door.

"Fable?"

"What?"

Hawke opened the door. "I hate talking through doors, it's a pet peeve of mine." She sat down on the chair in the room. Fable sat at the foot of the bed.

"He was the first person I ever loved. I grew up in the Circle, and being a Warden was my first venture out and he was so blighted awkward and charming and sweet and, Maker, you should see him without any clothes on."

Hawke smiled.

"We were both completely inexperienced and in a daily life or death situation and he likes to say we stumbled into one another, but I think we ran terrified into one other's arms, we were so scared at what we were up against."

"And now it's all different," Hawke said.

"He told me he didn't want to ever be with anyone else and I believed him. I believed in us! And then that stupid bitch Anora turned against us at the Landsmeet and tried to have us killed and there was no turning the tide after that. Alistair couldn't have refused the throne if he tried. She would have had us both killed and we still had an Archdemon to defeat." Fable buried her face in her hands and cried as quietly as she could.

"So I told him I would stay at court and we would continue it quietly and he refused me. He broke it off, saying that he needed an heir to the throne," she said.

"He broke your heart," Hawke replied.

"He did more than that. He broke _me_. I was hollowed out. I haven't been the same since."

"And then when did you start sleeping with him again?"

Fable gave Hawke a small secret smile, one that looked so much like her mother that it made Hawke's heart ache. "How did you know?"

"Because if it were me… "

Fable sighed. "You're going to laugh. It was after I arrived at Vigil's Keep and Alistair met Anders. He really lost it. I think he thought he was going to lose me to Anders," she said.

Hawke looked bemused. "But it wasn't Anders he nearly lost you to, was it?"

Fable looked shocked. "How did you know?"

"You and Nathaniel are practically attached at the hip. He goes everywhere you go. And because I know Anders, and from what he tells me of who he was before Justice, he wasn't your type."

"You're sleeping with Anders, right?"

"We've been living together for a little more than three years." That truth felt like it belonged to someone else, someone not Hawke.

"But, you're in love with the elf. Does Anders know?"

"Yes."

Fable's eyebrows lifted. "Oh, I see. So _that's_ why they're called the Free Marches."

"It's more complicated than that. I look at Anders and I see my life, my love, he's my everything." Hawke stood up suddenly. She had to say it. "But when I watched the Chantry blow to pieces in a red light against a blue sky, I lost him then. Anders died there in the courtyard. And I've been clinging to this carcass, this Cause walking around in my lover's skin." She began to cry, as well. "And Fenris is like an addiction. I can't live without him. And he feels the same about me."

"Anders is almost an entirely different person now," Fable replied. "I wish you could have known him when he was snarky and carefree and dead sexy carrying around a kitten in his pack."

"Ser Pounce-a-Lot?"

"Oh, that blighted cat," Fable said and laughed in earnest.

"Cullen has been in love with you for eight years," Hawke blurted out.

"I know," Fable replied. "I never gave him a second glance when he was just some Templar following me about with big puppy eyes, but he's so different now."

Hawke nodded. "He was the highest-ranking sane person in the Templars in Kirkwall."

Fable smiled. "Hearing Cullen referred to as 'sane' is funnier than I think you meant it to be. I don't know how to love anyone other than Alistair. I will break Cullen's heart."

"Well, let's get you away from this palace and see if maybe he can change your mind about that," Hawke said. She thought for a moment. "I wish you could have seen him when he raised his sword to the Knight-Commander and told her that she'd have to go through his blade to take me. It was so romantic, if either of us had any feelings for one another. He defended us all. I think the King is a wonderful person and I think he loves you a lot, but he will _never_ be able to marry you, Fable. And I think he can't let you go as much as you can't let him go."

Fable thought on this.

"He's coming here tonight. Spend one last night with him and then we leave for Lake Calenhad tomorrow."

"You're lucky, you know," Fable said as Hawke was leaving.

"I don't feel very lucky."

"You were never in the Circle. The Circle is what made Anders. They branded him with hate as much as they would have made him Tranquil. I know you're questioning whether what we're doing is worth all of this, but it is."

"I'll think on it."

"I'm dying to ask you something," Fable said.

"No, we don't all sleep together," Hawke sighed.

"Uhh, I was just going to ask you what happened to the pigment in your hair, it's so white."

Hawke laughed loud and hard, the sound cracked the air like a whip. "Oh! My sister and I got in a magic fight over a favorite red blouse and she meant to drain the blouse of color and missed."

"You could probably fix it, you know," Fable said after she was done laughing. She took a pinch of Hawke's hair and scrutinized it.

"Well, my father wouldn't fix it as punishment for Bethany and I using our magic for something so stupid and now, it's what I have left of her."

"Well, it's beautiful, I was just curious," Fable said. "And thank you for listening to me and for sending Alistair here."

Hawke smiled. "You're welcome, cousin."

She went in search of Anders. He was leaning against his door jamb. "I was afraid I wouldn't see you tonight."

Hawke backed him into his room and shut the door. "I wish I could have known you before Justice."

"You would have lost patience with me," he said.

"I love you, Anders." She sat down in a chair.

He began to cry and buried his face in her lap. She had never seen him like this, he was wracked with sobs and pain. Hawke let him cry until he was spent.

"What's this about?"

"I have broken your heart and it is killing me."

"Anders, you told me this would happen, remember? I told you I could handle it."

"And you are handling it the only way you know how, but I can't bear this feeling that you are so angry with me."

Hawke stood up. "I'm not angry with you," she cried out with more fury than she thought she had in her tonight. "I am frightened for you! What if this gets worse? What if you kill more people? What if I _let_ you? What does that make me, Anders?"

"I don't know."

"I hate you so much right now," she cried.

"Hit me, Hawke."

"No!" But she knew she would. She wanted to.

"Hit me!"

She began to slap and beat at his coat. He caught her wrists when it seemed she was going to go for his face. Lightning crackled at her fingertips and she flicked a bolt at him unexpectedly. He hit her with some ice and she hit him back with a stone fist.

Hawke threw up a lightning storm all around them and knocked him onto the bed where she kissed him with more passion then she thought she had. She impatiently unbuckled his coat and pushed it off him while he deftly unstrapped her armor and tossed pieces of it off the bed. They both kicked their boots off.

"This doesn't change anything," she breathed and pulled him up off the bed to get his pants off.

He pulled the rest of her armor off and slammed her against the wall. "Sweetheart, this changes everything," he said and pinned her with his kiss.

Afterward, they lay wrapped in a blanket on the floor by the fireplace. The room was a riotous mess, broken furniture and scorch marks on the walls and floors. Hawke lifted her head from Anders' chest and looked around.

"I think we're going to be banned from the Gnawed Noble after this," she said.

Anders chuckled and ran his fingers up and down her back.

"What did you mean when you said 'this changes everything'?" She asked.

"I thought we were finished, I thought you had lost your passion for us. It seemed like you were numb after the Fade," he said. "But you had so much you had buried. You were so angry and you were so scared to let it out. I had to show you that I'm tougher than I act. I'm not a delicate mage-flower as Carver is wont to say."

"I didn't know what I felt," she said.

"But you still feel, and that is all that matters to me, love," he replied and kissed the top of her head.

"We should get going," she said as she looked at the light beginning to peek through the shutters.

Anders groaned. "Can we get at least an hour of sleep?"

Hawke smiled and let him sleep. She wrapped the bed sheet around her and snuck into the hall to find a loo. The King was standing in the hallway at her cousin's door.

"Alistair? Are you alright?"

"I think last night was the end and I'm not sure I'm ready for it."

"I'm sorry," she replied.

"I love her."

"She knows that. But as long as you have to put Fereldan first, it's not fair to her."

"What would you have me do? Abandon the throne?"

"Take a wife, Alistair. She won't be the Hero of Fereldan, but she'll hopefully be the mother of your children."

"And just who would you have me marry?"

"I would have you marry my cousin, politics be damned, but you've said as much yourself that you can't do that. I don't really care who you marry, to be honest. Just pick someone and move on."

He looked immeasurably sad. "You don't hold back much, do you?"

"I've been told that before. Look, I know it's not my place, but maybe you should marry an Orlesian before a war breaks out. Just… think about it. Marriages have saved kingdoms before. Love is no longer a luxury the crown can afford."

"I could have married you had you become the Viscountess of Kirkwall."

"So you can marry a foreign mage because I would have held a title, but not the blighted Hero of Fereldan?" She screwed up her face in disgust. "You need to sort out your priorities, mate, I wouldn't have had you."

Hawke tightened the sheet and continued on to her room. From the doorway, she watched Alistair slip out of the tavern.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Worn

They headed back to the Keep for a resupply and so Fable could bring her replacement up to speed. The Seneschal came out to greet them and let her know that Carver Hawke had arrived the night before.

"Carver?" Hawke asked.

"Yes, my replacement," Fable answered and winked at her cousin.

"Are you sure?"

"Have faith in the Hawke family line, cousin, he's an incredible leader and an amazing Grey Warden. He's done well under Stroud."

"You always do that," Carver said.

Hawke turned around and found her brother standing under the portcullis. He looked annoyed.

"I didn't mean," she tried.

"Yeah, I know what you meant, _sister_," Carver said. "What's _he_ doing here?" He hooked his thumb over his shoulder at Cullen.

"Cullen is coming with us to help with the Circle."

"Are you sure he's not going to fulfill the Right of Annulment? Some big, blighted Divine plan?"

"Carver!"

"It's alright, Hawke," Cullen said. "I can speak for myself. As the least desirable member of the new Team Hawke, I can assure you that I'm not here on official Templar business, Messere."

"You will always be a Templar, Knight-Captain."

"A Knight-Captain without mages is of little use to anyone, Messere."

"Warden-Commander, I did not come here for trivial insult exchanges with my sister's lackeys. I'm sure you have some business to put me to?" Carver replied and disappeared into the Keep.

Cullen turned to Hawke. "I'm sorry if I overstepped," he started.

She threw up her hand to stop him. "In this group, he's everyone's bratty little brother, welcome to the club."

Cullen gave her a small sideways smile. "She has any easy way about her," he told Merrill when she walked past.

"Not if you cross her, then there's flames and blood and screaming, not to mention the disapproving glances," she said and continued walking.

Fenris stopped in front of Cullen and looked him dead in the eyes. "If you are up to something, Templar, you will regret it, I promise," he said and followed Merrill.

Hawke smiled at him and tossed him a pack. "Load up, I don't know when we'll be restocking again. And I'd see Anders about that limp of yours; you're no good to me injured."

Cullen looked surprised; he hadn't thought she'd noticed his leg.

"You're a long way from home," Fable replied.

"What?"

"Well, we're not Templars."

"No, definitely not," he said.

"You'll get used to it. You know what? I'm glad you're here," she said and followed the rest into the Keep.

Cullen smirked and checked the pack Hawke had given him. He headed off to find Anders.

Inside the Keep, Fable approached Hawke. "You get everyone ready. Nathaniel, Carver, and I have Warden business to attend to," she said.

They left for Lake Calenhad before light the next morning. The road was quiet and damp. Fog accompanied the better part of the morning and more than once Merrill announced she was happy they had three Grey Wardens with them otherwise they wouldn't see any Darkspawn until they were poking them in the nose.

"Darkspawn haven't been very active in Amaranthine as of late," Nathaniel told her. "I would be surprised if we ran into any at all."

"Oh," Merrill said. "Now you're just begging for it."

Cullen trotted up next to Fable. "Can I ask you something?"

"It depends, is it personal?"

"Sort of."

"I'll decide after I hear the question then."

"Jowan."

"Did I know he was a blood mage?"

"Yes."

"Maker, no!

"Did you really warn the First Enchanter that Jowan was planning on running off with Lily? Or was he just protecting you from Gregoire?"

Fable frowned and looked at him. "Yes, I told Irving about Jowan and Lily."

"Then Hawke might be right," Cullen said.

"About what?"

"About having mages that want to join the Templars. It never occurred to me that some of you may want to police yourselves."

Fable sighed. "Yes, I suppose it would work. And if we're going to break the Templars of their lyrium addiction, having Templars that can fight fire with fire would be helpful," she said. "Speaking of that, how are you not going through withdrawal right now?"

"I am not completely stupid. I brought a supply to wean myself off with. I've been taking smaller and smaller doses of it, I'm hoping I'll be alright by the time I run out."

"What did the Circle do with Jowan?" She asked.

Cullen's expression fell. "I thought you knew. He was made Tranquil."

Fable stopped in her tracks. "He was _what_?"

He closed his eyes. "Jowan was dangerous, Fable."

"No, Knight-Captain, he was not," she said around the lump in her throat. "Please leave me to grieve my friend."

Cullen let her pass. Hawke and Anders caught up with him.

"Making an impression, I see," Hawke said.

"Not a very good one, I'm afraid. I just had to be the one to tell her one of her best friends in the Circle was made Tranquil after she turned him in for being a blood mage."

Anders pursed his lips together and sneered. "The Almighty Divine, doling out what you lot would consider justice, I presume?"

Hawke frowned. "Oh, Cullen," was all she could say.

Cullen looked thoughtful for a moment and then shook his head. "Why can't it just be the black and white that the Chantry teaches us?" He asked. "These variations of greys are muddling things up."

Hawke's gaze softened. "Nothing is as easy as black and white, Cullen."

"I must think on this more," he said and walked away.

"I don't know what I'd do if you were made Tranquil," Anders said.

"You'd kill me," Hawke replied. She took his hand and kissed his cheek. "Because you love me and because you know it's what I would want. I'd kill you if it happened to you, Anders."

Anders nodded.

After several days of travelling, they were met by a group of Templars near the Lake Calenhad docks. Hawke, Fable, and Cullen approached them carefully.

"Sers," Hawke said and gracefully nodded her head. "Anything going on?"

"Are you joking?" The first one asked. His long auburn hair was braided with a thick cord tying it off and an ages old mageburn discolored the lower left corner of his face.

"We've travelled from Vigil's Keep and have had no news as of late," Fable replied.

"We've been ousted out of our own tower," he snapped back.

"Wait a minute," said the second Templar, a big man with a shaggy beard and wide nose. Hawke looked away, afraid that they had been recognized. "That's the bloody Hero of Fereldan. I seen her at King Alistair's coronation in Fereldan some years back. You're the bloody Hero of Fereldan!"

Fable offered them a weak smile. "Please, tell me what is happening at the tower. It used to be my home."

"My lady!" The first one exclaimed and took a knee.

"Oh, look how sweet that is, and how completely unnecessary, please, get up and report on the situation?"

"The blighted mages! They ambushed us all in the middle of the night when the watch was lightest. There was a skirmish before we realized they were driving us back. They were shouting something about some bloody 'Champion' and 'Kirkwall'. It's a right mucked up mess, it is."

"Where are your commanding officers?" Cullen asked.

"Our?" The second asked and then his eyes went to the top of the tower.

And then Hawke saw what they were looking at. Everyone turned and looked up at the tower sticking out of the glassy lake. The tower wore a necklace of hung Templars, they were stripped down to only their skirts and sigils carved into their skin so deep that Hawke could nearly make them out from far below. Crows pecked and pulled at flesh and eyes, most of them had no recognizable features remaining.

"Maker preserve us," Cullen breathed.

"What have they done?" Merrill asked and brought her hands to her face.

"It's a ring of protection, carved from flesh," Anders replied. "Blood magic."

"So," Hawke began and tore her gaze from the grim scene to look at her cousin, "I hear being a Grey Warden is nice. Brood mothers, you say?"

Fable frowned. "Wynne," she said. "Was Wynne in there?"

"She'd have to be," the first Templar said. "She's the First Enchanter."

"Wynne would never allow this to happen," Fable said. "Something terrible must have happened. We need to get in there, Hawke."

Hawke wrapped her arms around her cousin. "It'll be alright," she said, but it rang hollow. Even to her.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Wishes

"By the Maker," Cullen said. They had reached the Lake Calenhad docks. He dropped to his knees at the scene stretched before him.

Merrill's sharp intake of breath was the only sound aside from the lapping waves on the shoreline. Bodies of Templars littered the shore as they washed up. The lakeshore was a white and glittering mass of Templar bodies. Hawke brought the back of her hand to her nose and made a small gagging noise.

"See for yourself what you have wrought, mage," Fenris said to Anders.

Anders cocked his head in disgust at the scene, yet said nothing in reply to the elf.

"You're too late, my lady," came a voice from the shade of the inn.

Fable squinted and put a hand to her forehead to shade her eyes while she tried to make out who spoke. "Who? Kester?" She approached the ferryman.

"You'll excuse this old man if he doesn't stand," Kester said and coughed.

"Anders," Fable called. "Come quick!"

Kester was leaning against the inn, holding one hand tight to his side and the other hand holding a bottle of something dark and strong. "You don't want to go over there, lady."

Anders knelt beside Kester and examined his wounds. Fable joined him. "What happened here, Kester?"

"There were a midnight rider, come from the North, said he had big business at the Hold. He banged on my door until I took him across." Kester coughed and spat out black blood.

Anders shook his head. "He has internal bleeding, there isn't much I can do aside from ease his pain."

"Said you was comin'," Kester managed.

"The rider said _I_ was coming?" Fable asked.

"No, said, death was comin' and he'd wear black feathers and fair hair."

They all looked at Anders. He closed his eyes and shook his head. Hawke came forward. "What did this rider look like, Kester?"

"He were all in black, mistress, I couldn't tell you. He took the First Enchanter away. She was in a right state, too, you know the First Enchanter, lady, you know how she can be."

Fable nodded.

"Are there any survivors in Kinloch Hold?" Cullen asked.

"Don't know, Ser, haven't really had a chance to go over there m'self, don't rightly want to, if you have my meaning."

"Who did this to you?" Anders asked.

"That rider didn't do this, if that's what you're thinking. This was done by a jumpy Templar named Carroll. He were terrified. Them shades were coming out of the waves after the Templars. He washed ashore and I went to help him up, he must've thought I were one of them shades. He ran, though, when he saw it were me he run through."

Cullen pursed his mouth together and shook his head roughly. "Coward," he said. "He never had any backbone, Carroll."

"Help him, Anders, please," Hawke asked of her lover.

"Like I said, I can only ease his suffering, I can't save him," Anders said.

Kester snatched a fistful of Anders coat and pulled him close. "He said you was Death, you'll give me this. He told me to tell you that the Maker was coming for you, that you can keep running, but the Maker will find you sooner or later and there will be an accounting, there will."

Anders closed his eyes. "Hawke?"

"Move aside, mage, if you cannot grant this man's wish." Fenris leaned in and a blue glow emanated from his hand. He slid his fist into the ferryman's chest and pulled it back out. Kester shuddered and died.

Fable buried her face in her hands. Cullen put a hand on her shoulder. "Come, we must see if anyone still lives," he said.

"Wynne is gone."

"This rider saved her. Fable, we need to find this man."

Fable reached up and patted his hand. "We'll cut them down, Cullen. Let's go."

The lake was a sparkling gem in the morning gold. It was a beautiful day and the lake bobbed and surged with the bodies of men in maroon dress, their armor stripped so they would not sink. Nobody spoke as they sat in the small boat that Cullen and Nathaniel rowed. Hawke was reminded of another boat ride across the harbor to the wretched Gallows. The silence told more of the violence than any clang of swords could.

Merrill wrapped her arms around her slim frame and rocked back and forth. Fenris glared at Anders, who studied each body they passed. Hawke stared at the Templars hanging from the top of the towers. Cullen and Nathaniel watched Fable, who sat staring at her hands which shook like impatient white kittens in her lap.

Hawke breathed through her mouth. She closed her eyes and listened. There were gulls screeching and fighting over morsels of flesh, the paddles dipping into the water, she opened her eyes when she felt a dampness surround her. The bottom of the tower was cloaked in a thick mage-made fog. It smelled like wet earth and rotten fruit and it was a spider web against her face. She could not find where to wipe it off.

They pulled into the dock and Cullen helped them out of the boat. "Tread carefully. We do not know if there are still mages inside."

"I'm glad you ditched your uniform, then," Hawke told him.

"As am I," he replied. "Hawke…"

She turned to him. "Knight-Captain?"

"You – look, I have a very short list of people I call 'friend.'"

Hawke smiled at him. "It'll be alright. I'm afraid, too."

"How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Make everything better like that?" Cullen shook his head at her. Hawke shrugged and walked away.

"It's Hawke, it's her particular brand of special," Merrill said and unstrapped her staff. "But it's best to be prepared, she usually has that look on her face when we're about to walk into a cave full of dragons, too."

The entrance to the Tower was dark. Hawke, Fable, Merrill, and Anders lit their hands aflame and the sconces were relit with waves from the mages.

Gregoir was in the front hall. He had been hung in the arms of a statue of Andraste, half of his body was black and crisp.

Cullen took a knee and held his hand out to his former Knight-Commander. "Ashes we were, and ashes we become. Maker, give this man of your faith a place at your side. Let us find comfort in the peace he has found, in eternity."

It was quiet to a point of disturbing inside the Fereldan Circle of Magi. Fable ran her fingers against the stone walls and stopped at the doors to the dormitories. She placed her hands on the wood of the doors and closed her eyes.

"What is she doing?" Hawke whispered to Anders.

"She's – she's trying to find life," he replied. "I think she's using the taint, that's – that's preposterous."

Fable's eyes snapped open. "They're here," she said. Her hands fumbled with the doors and she pulled them open.

Cullen chased after her down the halls. "Wait!"

Merrill tossed balls of light from wall sconce to wall sconce as they chased after the Warden-Commander.

"They're here, down in the basement," Fable called and was swallowed by the dark corridor.

An abomination reached out and grabbed the Grey Warden by the throat and threw her to the ground. By the time the others reached the north room beyond the Apprentice quarters, they were surrounded by abominations.

"Maker, preserve us," Cullen said.

Hawke ran to her cousin and helped her to her feet. "Ready?" She took a familiar stance with the Warden, one her and Bethany had been taught by their father, Malcolm. Their backs together, they could arc out Hawke's ice and the Warden's lightning into a near perfect circle.

Merrill assumed her damage control position and Nathaniel took the darkest corner and began to loose arrows on the creatures. Fenris became a bright blue blur and with Cullen swept the abominations back from the mages, Fenris with his blade and Cullen with his shield. Anders healed from the corridor.

"Flames, how many are there?" Hawke cried out when it seemed there was no end to them.

"Is this what is left of the Circle?" Nathaniel cried. "Is this what you felt, Commander?"

"No, something else," Fable yelled over the battle. "There's –"

"Us," a dwarf said. She let loose a spectacular circle of fire on the abominations from a staff much taller than she. She stood in the doorway to the phylactery storage basement. "I thought you'd never get here!"

"Dagna!"

The abominations seemingly beaten, Fable and Hawke holstered their staves. The Warden-Commander hugged her friend fiercely to her. "I knew it, I knew there were more alive in here."

"I did what I could, it's just us, though, the rest of the tower is deserted."

"Where are they?"

"In there, hiding," Dagna pointed to the darkened doorway behind her. "It's okay, you can come out. Help is here."

Almost two dozen filthy and frightened children emerged from the dark. Fable fell to her knees and she began to cry with relief.

Hawke suddenly understood. Fable had been terrified for the children here. She had been a child here once herself. She reached out for her red-headed dwarven friend and cried with her. "You saved them, Dagna, you did it."

"Not to derail the relief here, but did I just see a dwarf perform magic?" Hawke asked.

Dagna wiped her face. "Well, yes! Sort of, okay, so here's what you saw," she said and tossed the staff to Cullen. "Point it at something and push one of the crystals in."

Cullen looked down at the staff. The grip had four distinct crystals in it, circling the wood. He pointed it at a wall sconce and pressed the red one. A flame shot out, the harder he pushed the farther it went.

"Spin it over your head once, Knight-Captain," Dagna said. "And then slam it into the ground, but you need to hold down a crystal."

Cullen did as he was told, holding down a blue crystal, with a crack of the staff onto the stone – a circle of ice went up around the group.

"This is, what is this?" Cullen asked her.

"It's my thesis," she said proudly. "Shale allowed me to study her crystals, and we retrieved all of Wilhelm's research we could from Matthias. It's a combination of lyrium and crystals and some simple mechanics."

"Well, isn't that something?" Hawke said and looked to the dwarven woman with admiration.

"Something very dangerous," Fenris replied. "Imagine what this would do in the wrong hands."

"Then it's a good thing it's in the right hands right now," Dagna said indignantly and took her staff back.

"What do you call it?" Fable asked her.

"I call _her_ Paragon," Dagna said.

"How did you all survive so long?" Merrill asked.

"It was Wynne. Her and a man in black roused us from our beds and tucked us into the cellar. Wynne put up a barrier before she left and she taught me how to take it down with Paragon."

"Did she seem okay?" Fable asked.

"She seemed… stricken, afraid. She said she had to leave, she had to find someone named Rhys. And then it just went crazy. I know that something had happened earlier in the day, but only the higher members of the Circle knew about it. There were a lot of arguments and screaming and the Templars were acting nug-shit jumpy at anyone who looked at them sideways." They all stared at the dwarf. "Oh! Excuse my language."

"Dagna, when did they start acting like this?" Hawke asked her.

"A shipment came in from the North, just our usual supplies and mail. That's the only thing I can think of just before it happened."

"Come on, Cullen, maybe we'll find the answer in the First Enchanter's study," Fable said.

"Fenris and I will sweep the tower for any hold-outs, and we'll cut the Templars down from the top," Nathaniel said.

"Fenris!" Hawke called.

He turned to her. She ran up to him and couldn't find a spot for her hands on the bloody mess on his chest.

"Come back to me," she said.

"Nothing will keep me from you," he replied and cupped her face in his hand gently.

Anders was talking to the children when she returned to them. She looked down where he was kneeling.

"Who can make a light for me?" He asked them. A couple of the older children made small balls of light and the little ones giggled nervously. "Who has owwies?" Several of them showed them where they were burned or scraped up or cut. "Okay, let's hold the light over the owwies so I can see them," he said.

Hawke's expression softened at watching him work with the magelings. She stood behind him and played with his hair while he worked. When the kids seemed bandaged up, Merrill enticed them over with snacks from their packs. Anders closed his eyes and let Hawke run her fingers through his hair. His hand closed around her wrist and he pulled her down into his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck.

"It's strange being back here," he said. "This place seemed so scary and oppressive when I was younger. Now it just seems small and empty."

"How are you holding up?"

"I wonder who took Wynne away. I wonder who told the Circle about what happened in Kirkwall. We shouldn't have stayed on the sea so long, Hawke, our enemies are off our trail, certainly, but they also seem to have a head start on us."

Hawke chewed on her lip in thought. "Maybe Fable knows who this 'Rhys' is, that could give us an indication as to where Wynne went and why she would abandon her Circle."

There was screaming and laughing behind them and they turned to find the kids sitting in a circle playing, "Halla, Halla, Dreadwolf" with Merrill.

Anders laughed as Merrill was chased by the Dreadwolf until she took the empty Halla spot and then it was that child's turn to pat all of the "hallas" on the head until he came to his "dreadwolf" and then he ran and screamed from his dreadwolf.

"It's been so long I've forgotten what that sounded like," Hawke said.

"What?"

"Your laugh," she said. He picked her up and carried her down to the cellar.

He set her down and pressed her against the cool wall. His mouth moved over hers, kissing her with practiced patience. "I wish we could have a normal life, Rhiannon. Children and bills, goats and pies, laundry and a fireplace, all of it. I wish I could be all of that for you. I hate that I have to drag you down into a stinking dark cellar in a tower filled with corpses to steal a moment to kiss you."

She held his face in her hands and pressed her forehead to his. "I know," she whispered. "Me, too."

And they stayed in the stinking dark cellar, kissing in secret and wishing for a world without spirits and demons and knowing that when they emerged, the corpses would still be there to greet them.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Want

"What are we going to do with all of these kids?" Hawke asked.

"I know where we'll take them and it's not far from here," Fable said. "Two days travel at the most."

"And the bodies?" Cullen asked.

Fable sighed and looked to the Knight-Captain. His fallen expression seemed to despair over such an overwhelming loss of Templars. "There aren't enough of us to deal with so many."

He nodded. "There must be something we can do."

"Do you want to burn the bodies, Cullen? We can do that, if it is what you wish. We don't have the time or the manpower to bury them all," Hawke said.

"Could we? Burn them, I mean. I hate leaving them here for the gulls and crows."

Hawke nodded grimly and tied a scarf over her nose and mouth. "You get a pyre ready, I'll start dragging them into a pile."

They all pitched in and hours later, it was done. They secured the tower, locked the gates, and crossed everyone over the lake. They had one last body to attend.

Knight-Commander Greagoir was laid to rest in full armor with sword and shield and placed in the small boat meant to ferry the mages to their prison.

"Nobody will be having any immediate need of this boat for a while," Fable said. They shoved it off into Lake Calenhad. The sun cast a long golden road on the glittering lake for the final departure of the Knight-Commander of Fereldan.

Cullen said the words and Nathaniel sent the flaming arrow into the sky. It dropped gracefully into the boat and set it aflame. They watched the boat drift off, the smoke curling into the twilight sky.

"It is done," Cullen finally said. "I thank you." He gave a humble bow and walked away.

They stayed the night at the abandoned inn. Cullen kept to himself for most of the evening and stationed himself near a window so he could watch for trouble. Merrill told Dalish stories, and Hawke told some Fereldan fables. Fenris fell asleep with his head in Hawke's lap on the couch. Anders conferred quietly with Nathaniel and Fable in the corner about their next move and where Fable had picked up her new trick.

"Avernus," she said. "He's had a few amazing breakthroughs with the tainted blood. Darkspawn can find us through our blood, their sight and smell isn't the best. They 'feel' our life in our blood, it seems that we can do whatever they can because of the taint."

"Can you show me how to do it?" Anders asked her. "It could be incredibly useful for a healer."

Fable nodded. "We'll work on it. Not tonight, perhaps." Anders followed her gaze to the Templar sitting by himself. "If you gentleman will excuse me."

She walked over to where Cullen sat and handed him a cup of mulled wine. "Oh, no, thank you," he began.

"Drink it, Cullen," she said and waited until he took it. She pulled up a chair next to his. "How are you holding up?"

"I am weary of being weary, to be honest."

Fable nodded. "I know exactly what you mean."

"Do you miss him?"

"Who?"

Cullen looked at her and then he looked back out the window. "Your king."

"That's not a fair question. I feel as though I can't answer you truthfully for fear of hurting you."

"I want to be your friend, Fable, that is all. I am well aware I couldn't compete with the King of Fereldan. I have no other illusions."

"What would have happened had I stayed in the Circle, Cullen?"

He took a deep swig of his wine. "I don't know. I was so glad that you weren't there when everything happened with Uldred. And then, well," Cullen inspected the dark red liquid in his cup and drank the whole thing. "You _saved_ me," he said roughly. "You and the bloody King of Fereldan." She handed him her cup and he drained that one as well. "You can't imagine the things I saw when I was locked in that prison."

She stared into the fire beyond him. "I could. I really could. And I hate that I could. I've seen so many terrible things."

He reached across the space between them and took her hand. "You are the strongest woman I have ever known."

"Cullen, it's not that he's a king, that's honestly the least of it."

Cullen's thumb brushed across the tops of her fingers and she saw him almost for the first time. He had a certain charm that she was left wanting to name.

"He's my best friend, that's the hard part. Alistair is my best friend."

Her dark hair was in her face and she brushed it away. She stood up suddenly and punched the wall. Cullen looked surprised. The room turned their attention to her.

"I don't want to be tied to someone who isn't free to love me. You and Alistair, you're both not _allowed_ to be with me because I'm a blighted mage. Do you think I _wanted_ this? Do you think I _like _holding the power to burn this entire building to the ground with a snap of my mood? I am not just a mage, I am not just a Grey Warden, I am certainly not the Hero of Fereldan. I am Fable Amell and my heart _aches_ that I am told I am brave and beautiful and remarkable and so many other things and I am _dying_ inside because the man I love can't love me back and the man that _claims_ he loves me wears the uniform of my enemy. You were my _jailor_, Cullen! How dare you! How dare you love me, how dare you!" She broke into sobs and slapped at his chest and arms.

He grabbed her and pulled her into him. She began to cry into his chest for everything she had lost, for everything she never had. Fable hadn't realized so much had gone unsaid. She lost the strength in her legs and he kneeled down on the floor with her and let her cry.

"I don't have the strength to save the world without him, I can't," she sobbed.

Cullen held her like she was drowning. He stroked her hair and rocked her while everyone looked on. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he whispered into her hair. "This isn't how I wanted it, Fable, I swear."

She looked so small in his arms. Nathaniel Howe stood up and left the room.

"I just don't know if I have anything left to give, Cullen," she breathed with her forehead against his chest.

"Then leave that to me," he said. "I don't have a kingdom, but you have my sword, and my word, and you have my heart." Cullen took her hand and placed it over his heart. "Let me give you my strength, let me give you a reason to save Thedas." He took her hand off his heart and kissed her palm.

Fable touched his cheek and rested her forehead against his. "Would you put down the shield for me? Would you leave the Templars?"

"I have," he said.

Fable looked up at him. His hazel eyes hid nothing from her. He was so full of life, he was so good. Cullen had waited so long for her. He wasn't Alistair, but he was… something to her. She wasn't sure what yet.

"Oh my goodness, kiss him already," Merrill said from her spot in the corner. She was popping blackberries in her mouth while she watched.

Fable looked around at the room staring at her and Cullen. She reluctantly untangled herself from his arms. "I'm just going to, erm, wash my face and head to bed," she said as she hooked a thumb at the washroom.

Cullen offered his honest grin to Hawke and she smiled back at him.

Merrill turned with mouth agape to Hawke. "I have to write this whole thing to Varric immediately," she said and got up to grab her pack.

"Well, that was awkward," Anders said. "And speaking of awkward," he looked to Fenris sleeping in Hawke's lap.

"He did pull six burly long-dead Templars back into a tower today each from six feet of rope and then dragged them down the stairs again so he could spare the children the sight of Templars dropping from the sky. Cut him a break, Anders."

Anders leaned in, kissed her good night, and took his leave as well. Cullen sat down across from Hawke.

"Thank you, Serah Hawke."

"For what?"

"For allowing me to accompany you on this journey," he said. "I used to often wonder what it was like to be part of your merry little band, now I know." He left her with Fenris and sleeping children scattered all over the great room of an abandoned inn.

Hawke carefully unsnapped and slid Fenris' gauntlets and pauldrons off. She unbuckled his belt with his packs and let them fall to the floor. Her fingers brushed his hair back away from his face and she traced a finger down his cheekbone. She wiggled her way beneath him and fell asleep with his head resting over her heart.


	10. Chapter 10

_Heh. Since I don't know if anyone is actually even reading this, if you're enjoying it, can I get a teensy review?_

Chapter Ten

Winding

"Someone fetch the Arlessa, and be quick about it," the Captain snapped from where he stood on the rampart.

Isolde Guerrein arrived shortly. "This had better be good, Captain, I don't take orders from the likes of you."

He nodded and handed her the spyglass. "Looks like we're about to have company, lady."

She took the brass telescope and peered through to where he indicated. "What in Thedas am I looking at, Captain?"

"It would seem the Hero of Fereldan is making a house call, lady, and it would seem she has brought an army of children with her."

"She will not take my son from me," the Arlessa said. "Not again." She turned and went back into the castle.

* * *

><p>"Redcliffe," Fable said. "What's happened to Redcliffe?"<p>

Smoke rose from the village. She lifted a hand to shield her eyes against the sunlight and noticed that the smoke specifically was drifting from where the Chantry had stood.

"Sweet Andraste," Cullen said from beside her. "It's happening all over again."

They were all exhausted. The last three nights had found the group defending the children against the shades that fought them every step of the way to the castle. There seemed to be no end to the waves of shades and rage demons. Rage demons were the worst as they lit the forests aflame all along the winding road to Redcliffe. It had rained ash on them day and night for three days.

A rider rode out to meet them.

"Ser Perth," Fable called and waved her hand to him.

"Ser Fable," he said and dismounted. "It is good to see you, friend."

"You know I am no knight, ser," she replied.

"Are you not? It seems to me that only the honor was overlooked. You are more knight than most of those under my command," he replied. "But you did not travel so far to exchange pleasantries with an old knight, lady. The Arlessa would know what business you have in Redcliffe. We have seen a great deal of trouble as of late and we are not at our best."

"Tell me, what trouble?"

"A group of mages burned the Chantry to the ground under the cover of dark. All inside perished, we have given chase, but they have proved formidable. They seem to be headed to Denerim."

"Denerim?" Fable looked as though the air had been pushed out of her.

Cullen stepped forward. "Please, ser, we need to speak to the Arlessa. It seems we are fighting the same battle."

Ser Perth nodded. "This way."

Before they followed him, however, Fable swung around on Anders, pointing her staff at his throat. "One foul word about the Chantry or oppression to the Arlessa and you will leave these children out in the cold. She is a pious bitch and I'll not have you ruin this, Anders."

He raised his eyebrows at her. She whirled around and followed the knight on the gray mare before her.

"Well," Hawke began, "that was unexpected."

"Her concern is for the children, and I don't blame her, we have been lucky we haven't lost anyone along the way. This road is not meant for them and if the mage sticks his foot in his mouth again, he may undo every diplomatic overture the Grey Warden has made thus far," Fenris said. "If it were up to me, I'd leave him outside or gag him."

Hawke looked between the two of them. Merrill bounced up, "Oh, look, it's an angry mob, come out to greet us."

"Merrill, let's not show ourselves as mages just yet, yeah? I'm thinking Redcliffe may have had enough of magic for this week."

"I agree," Fable said. She turned to the magelings. "No mention of the Circle, it'll be like a game. If those people try to guess where we're from, the game is to tell them anything _but _the Circle, okay? And no magic, none, whatsoever."

"Did we all hear the Warden-Commander?" Hawke called out. "Novices, to me," she said and several of the older children stepped forward. "Do you see those people? They don't want mages in their village, so we're not mages. Not today. Understand?"

Dagna stepped up and said, "I'll make sure there's no hokey business, but, what are we going to do if she won't see us?"

"I don't know, Dagna, I really don't."

They were stopped outside the village. Several of the villagers remembered Fable from the Blight and greeted her warmly. Others, however, looked over the strangers with suspicion.

"Rhiannon Hawke!" A voice called from the crowd.

Hawke looked surprised and looked around. "Miriam?"

"Come over here and talk to me, young lady."

"Ma'am," Hawke replied and obeyed like she were twelve years old and fighting with Bethany in the square again.

"What are you doing here, girl? I thought you and your mother were in Kirkwall?"

"We were, there has been some trouble in Kirkwall as of late."

"Trouble, yes, I can see that, it seems to dog us at every turn, doesn't it?" The old woman looked at the children behind Hawke.

"What have you brought to Redcliffe, Rhiannon?"

"We have brought no trouble, Miriam, I swear, we have brought some children that need refuge. We were hoping they could stay with Lady Isolde."

"Hmmph, Lady Isolde won't take them, I'll tell you that right now. I won't tell anyone you're an apostate, though, not with the Chantry being burned to the ground by mages two nights ago." Miriam looked at Hawke and she pulled her chin forward. "What's happened, child? You are not the same. Where is Leandra?"

Anders sat playing with Wendy, one of the smaller girls. They were playing a clapping game and he was listening to Hawke and the elder when it happened. Hawke started to cry.

He watched as her face crumpled and she brought the back of her hand to cover her mouth so she wouldn't sob aloud. Her shoulders slumped and she brought the other hand up to cover her mouth as well, she couldn't contain it.

Miriam rubbed her back. "It's okay, child, it'll be alright."

Hawke poured out everything that had happened to Leandra to her mother's old friend.

"Your mother was an amazing woman, Rhiannon. I've never had a friend who was more giving. So strong and alive, and so in love with her lad, she was. Your mother would tell me time and again that it was love that set her free. You are that freedom, child, don't you ever forget that." Miriam left Hawke with a hug that left Hawke longing for her mother.

"You are so bloody beautiful," Anders said.

She turned around and found his expression soft and sad. Hawke placed a slim hand on his cheek and gave him the smallest of smiles. She leaned in and pressed her forehead to his chest. He wrapped his arms around her.

* * *

><p>The last seven years had hardened the Arlessa. Isolde Guerrein rode out with her knights behind her. The Arl had not spent much time in Redcliffe, leaving the governing to Isolde and Teagan. Teagan had spent a great deal of time in Redcliffe, before leaving it entirely to Isolde to assist Alistair with Orlais. Isolde had taken the reins in hand and led with a sterner fist.<p>

That was before Connor had come home two nights before. She would not lose her son to the Grey Warden's meddling again. Her hair had been cut short and she wore archer armor that gleamed like a diamond in the sun.

Fable cringed. Lady Isolde coming out to treat with her in full armor was not a good sign. She turned and handed her staff and dagger to the tall ex-Templar at her side. With her hands held out at her side, she approached the Arlessa.

"You travel in strange company, Grey Warden," Isolde said.

"It is good to see you are well, Lady Isolde."

"I assume you are here for Connor?"

"For? Connor is here?" Fable was taken aback. She hadn't even thought of Connor. "May we speak to him? We had no idea he'd survived what happened at the Circle, Lady, he might shed some light on what happened."

"You are not here to take Connor away?"

"Where would we take him? The Circles all over Thedas are falling to insurrection. He is safe?"

"He is safe, if not shaken. Who have you brought with you?"

"The last survivors of the Circle of Magi, Lady Isolde. Children, nearly two dozen of them. They haven't anywhere else to turn."

"And you expect me to do what with these children, Grey Warden?"

"You are a protector of mage children, Lady, I have seen it myself. You are their mother."

Isolde signaled to Perth to help her dismount.

"I have not forgotten Redcliffe's debt to you. I do not want you to think we are ungrateful."

Fable shook her head. "There will be no debt between us if you can see to these magelings. They need a loving hand, they are frightened. You have a castle to keep them safe. Do not let what happened to Connor happen to these children. I could think of no one else I would trust these charges to."

A knight on a white horse behind Lady Isolde removed his helm and dismounted. With his helm tucked beneath his arm, he approached the Warden-Commander. Nathaniel stepped between them.

"No, it is alright, Nathaniel," Fable said. She gently pushed the warden aside. "Connor?"

The tall teenager took a knee before her. "We had no idea why you would come here after the massacre. I ask your forgiveness for your treatment, you look exhausted. Please come inside the castle, we would not turn these magelings away, Fable Amell. How could we?"

Fable smiled at the memory of the boy she had saved seven years ago. "You are well?"

"I am, and I have much to tell you, including where the mages have gone. But come inside, we will speak after you are rested. There is someone inside that I'm sure you would like to see."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

Whole

The children were taken into the kitchen to be washed and fed while Isolde awaited them in the main hall.

"Dagna, I would prefer if you went with the children," Fable said. "I am still uncertain of our hostess' intentions, she has proved… slippery in the past."

"Oh, for sure, I'd rather go eat anyway," Dagna said and followed the servants to the kitchen with their rowdy charges.

Hawke looked expectantly at Fable. "Slippery?"

"She is fierce when it comes to Connor. Don't let that Orlesian grace fool you."

"Understood," Hawke said with her signature smirk.

They strode into the main hall and Connor stood aside arguing with his mother. He had changed back into typical Fereldan mage robes.

"My lady," Cullen said.

"Mother, please," Connor said. "Let me handle this."

Isolde threw her hands up in the air. "I don't even know you anymore, Connor!"

Fable looked to the young mage. "You said there was someone here for me?"

Connor opened the door to his right and a tall, thin man stepped inside. The last time Fable had seen him was in this very hall.

"Jowan." Her voice trembled his name.

"It is good to see you are well, Fable Amell."

Fable looked to Cullen for support. Jowan was Tranquil. Cullen closed his eyes and took a breath of regret. Fable took a step toward the mage who had been her friend, the friend she had betrayed.

"Oh, Jowan, look at what they did to you," she said and brushed his hair out of his eyes. He looked blankly at her. "I don't understand, why is he here?"

"I brought him," Connor replied. "I brought several of the Tranquil. I couldn't leave them," he said. "I had no idea there was anyone left in the tower, Lady, forgive me for leaving the children." His head lowered and she could see the weight of the incident was burdening him.

"Sit down, please, we have so much to talk about. We'll tell you anything you want to know, Lady Isolde, we just need to find out what happened to the Circle tower," Hawke said. Her cousin was still staring with disbelief at the Tranquil mage before her. Fable was holding both of his hands in hers as though she were afraid he would disappear.

Cullen touched Fable's hair and she squeezed her eyes shut. "Were you there when it was done?" She asked him. "Did he suffer?"

"He did not suffer."

"Jowan was self-deprecating and funny, he was smart and anxious, we shared homework and secrets, and he loved a girl named Lily," Fable said. "Jowan was a blood mage because of his love for a girl who abandoned him when she saw what he was. If any of you had taken a moment to get to know him, you would have seen just how big his heart was, Cullen. He would have done anything for Lily."

"I would drown us both in blood just to keep you safe," Hawke said with a look to Anders. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose and she knew he was reliving the night they had met, the night he had put his ex-lover to the knife to save him from being Tranquil. The horror of what had happened to Fable's friend had an unsettling effect on the mages.

Fable wrapped her arms around Jowan's neck. "I'm so sorry. I would have told you to run had I known. I am so sorry."

"I am fine. I am well," Jowan said.

She pulled back and touched his cheek. "Send him away, Connor, I can't bear this."

Connor nodded and looked to Jowan. "Jowan, please, could you go back to your quarters?"

Jowan nodded serenely and took his leave. Fable found a seat. "We need to know what happened, Connor. Did Greagoir invoke the Right of Annulment?"

"No, he never had a chance to," Connor replied. "It all happened so suddenly. I've had a chance to think about it for a few days now and I think this insurrection was planned. Or at the very least, they had a plan in place should something occur."

"Who? Who do you think had plans in place?" Hawke asked.

"The Libertarians. They've been heavily recruiting within the Circles lately."

"We've heard varying tales of what happened in Kirkwall," Isolde spoke up. "Do any of you know what happened in Kirkwall? Have you heard anything?"

"The mages were being terribly abused in Kirkwall by a Knight-Commander who had been compromised by a tainted artifact. She invoked the Right of Annulment after an apostate blew up the Chantry with the Grand Cleric and the rest of the clergy still inside," Hawke said. "We were there, we did what we could for the mages there."

"Oh, Maker," Isolde said and clasped her hands in prayer. "Maker, forgive us for what we've done."

"There was a meeting of the Senior Enchanters about a week ago," Connor said. "I was in the library below and I could hear yelling and crying. There was quite a few booms, staves cracked into the floor in anger, I suppose. I can only speculate that a message had been received with the news about Kirkwall, but it must have been smuggled past the Templars. They never knew what hit them.

Wynne came flying out of the meeting with a look of… well, the last time I saw the look in her eyes was when I woke up here, next to you, Fable. My mother had the same look in her eyes when you saved me when I was a child. I do not know what happened to her, I'm sorry, I know you were close to the First Enchanter."

"You didn't see her after that?"

"No, but when we were running, two of the Tranquil had said they had seen a man in black leave with her the night before the fighting broke out," he said. "The fighting was terrible. I don't know how you do it every day." Connor shook his head in disbelief. "When the mages struck, it was quick and quiet. They were well coordinated. They used spells that wouldn't draw attention at first, so they could take down as many Templars as they could, one by one."

Cullen shifted in his chair. His eyebrows drew together in misery over the fates of his brothers. "It was a calculated strike then," he said. "Tell me, son, do you know who was in control of the Libertarian fraternity in your Circle?"

"It was a woman named Felice. She was very vocal with her remonstrance of a Chantry-run Circle of Magi and she is very… compelling."

"You mean she was probably using blood magic to influence the mages," Anders said.

Connor nodded in agreement. "There were rumors."

"It always comes down to what they can take," Fenris said. He crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. "I'll tell you what would have happened had this been Tevinter, the Libertarians would have escaped once the chaos began and the Templars were rounding up all of the mages, whether they were attacking or not."

"That's – that's exactly what happened. The remaining mages tried to defend themselves against the terror and confusion that the rebellious mages caused. They – they became abominations, and the Templars panicked and tried sealing us in and I don't know what happened." Connor stood up from his chair then and began pacing the hall. "There was fire and blood, and monsters and shades, and then I looked and saw the Tranquil and they were just standing there and the Templars! The Templars were just cutting them down, they weren't even defending themselves! So I grabbed as many of the Tranquil that I could and I made them run. We ran outside and there were bodies in the water all around us and there was no boat!" Connor was crying at this point. "I – I made them get into the water and swim across. Some of them didn't make it, there were people still alive in the water and they were clinging to anything that moved and they just pulled us down and some came back up and some didn't."

"It's okay, Connor, it's okay," Hawke tried.

"No! No, it's not okay! We finally felt sand under our feet and I helped who I could out of the water. There were still shades, though, and rage demons, and they were following the Templars to the shore and people were running and screaming from the inn. We had nowhere else to go, so I brought them home," he said. "I ran home. I am a coward."

Fable stood up and crossed the room to where the red-haired young man stood. She put her hands on his shoulders. "You saved the most helpless of them, Connor. You saved the ones who couldn't fight back. You saved my friend. You are one of the bravest mages I've ever met. Most would have left the Tranquil to die while they got themselves out. You are no coward."

Fenris nodded in agreement. "She has the right of it, most would have left the Tranquil there. Most won't even look a Tranquil in the eye. You have proven yourself above."

"My Connor, so brave," Isolde said.

Hawke shook her head. "Didn't we deal with some Libertarians in Kirkwall?"

"Yes, and they seemed to know the Kirkwall Circle was going to fold," Anders said. "There was no way they could have had any idea of what would happen to the Chantry, I guarantee it."

"Yes, especially since not even the woman you lived with for three years knew what you were going to do. Well done," Fenris said dryly. "Let's all pat Anders on the back for his intrigue."

"Shut up," Anders said. "You have no idea –"

"What slavery is like? Try another line, mage, because that one won't work on me." Fenris was in Anders' face now.

"Wait," Isolde tried.

"What I was going to say was you have no idea how hard it was to make that decision without Hawke," Anders said.

"Wait, you blew up the—," Isolde began again.

"You seemed to have no trouble tricking her into helping you do it, though! I stand corrected, you are a marvel of contradiction," Fenris snapped.

Isolde suddenly burst out of her seat. "You! You blew up the Chantry? And you come into my house?"

Hawke slammed her staff into the floor with a telekinetic blast, separating Anders and Fenris. "Enough," she cried. Anders and Fenris were both knocked back onto the floor. Merrill jumped out of her chair and clapped both hands over her mouth to stifle her surprise. Fenris stalked out of the main hall while Anders glared at Hawke. "Lady Isolde, there were circumstances beyond our control in Kirkwall. We came to Fereldan to make restitution, though, and that should be worth some of your time, at the very least."

"You caused this," Isolde stammered. She turned to Fable. "You have brought these criminals to Redcliffe?"

"Lady, look at your son and tell me you aren't happy he is home. You would never have him here if it were up to the Chantry. What they are doing is _wrong_," Fable said. "He knows firsthand the abuses the mages suffer in the Circle."

"We are proposing a Circle as a mandatory school, with Templars serving the Mages and not the Chantry," Cullen said.

Fable took her place beside him. "Cullen was Knight-Captain of Kirkwall, and before that, a Templar here in the Fereldan Circle and he stands with us for change. We are here to make this right, Arlessa, I swear to you."

Cullen was surprised to see that Fable was holding his hand throughout that. "We want to end this war peacefully, but we cannot do that if we are fighting an unknown enemy who is a step ahead of us. Any information we can get on the insurrection at Kinloch Hold would be of vital importance to our mission," he said. "This won't end here. I wouldn't want another young mage to go through what Connor went through."

Isolde dropped back into her seat. "Oh, Eamon, why would you have to be away at a time like this? Tell me, Connor, what would you do with these people?"

"I would," Connor started and he looked at them each in turn. "I would help them, mother. I can't fight, that much is obvious, but the magelings stay here. We will open Redcliffe Castle to any mage interested in helping our 'school'."

"You're joking," Isolde cried out.

"You heard me, mother, if you want me here, then you'll listen to what I have to say."

"He's certainly his father's son," Fable said.

"You fought the Desire Demon for me, and for my father, in the Fade. I told everyone that I didn't remember, but I did. I was ashamed. You taught me that sometimes people will do the right thing for complete strangers. So, in a way, I have a lot of you in me, as well, Fable Amell," Connor said. "Castle Redcliffe is yours, though I know you will not linger."

"We need to find Wynne, Connor, do you know where she might have fled to?"

Jowan walked into the room. "If I could be of assistance, the First Enchanter has gone to the White Spire in Orlais."

Fable cocked her head at her friend. She moved across the thick carpet and stopped in front of him. "What makes you say that, Jowan?"

"She told me I was to tell Fable Amell that she was going to the White Spire in Orlais should Fable Amell question her whereabouts."

The Grey Warden raised her hand over her mouth in surprise – she should have known Wynne would leave a failsafe. "But why, Jowan?"

"Because of the letter."

"What letter?" Fable's patience was beginning to run thin, she wanted to shake the information out of him.

"The letter telling of the fall of the Kirkwall Gallows. The Libertarian of Orlais called his order to arms," Jowan replied matter-of-factly. "

"Why would this matter to Wynne? She's an Aequitarian. Who is 'the Libertarian of Orlais', Jowan?"

"Why, Wynne's son, Rhys, of course."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Wasted

Fable tossed and turned in her bed before giving up on sleeping and sitting up. Her mind was afire with what Jowan had told them. Wynne's son had lit the fuse.

She pulled on a dressing robe and pushed her toes into the plush rug beside her bed. There were slippers at the edge of the carpet and she slid her feet into them.

With closed eyes, she reached out to the castle. The taint froze her blood and she could feel the life in the stone walls. It fluttered all around her, she breathed it in and tried to focus in on specific people. Avernus had told her that everyone had specific life signatures and she might be able to pick them apart if she worked on it.

The children were the easiest to find. They were a storm of butterflies rising up from the wing that Isolde had turned into a dormitory. Their life beat hard and strong in her veins, much faster than the adults. She exhaled and focused on her cousin.

Her cousin was with another, she could feel their life forces entwined and bound up in each other. They were a slow perfect rhythm and Fable found herself envying the vivacious Hawke. Hawke was made of charisma and confidence, she was cocky and witty and Fable found herself wishing she had a tenth of Hawke in her.

"I am not as strong as Fereldan would believe," she said to the darkness all around her.

"No, you are stronger," a voice said. It was a cat's tongue of a voice, warm and rough.

"How long have you been standing there, Nathaniel?" She asked, she could feel his life pulsing and pressing against her skin. The spell slipped away from her like Orlesian silk and the sensations abandoned her cold in a dark room.

"I felt you use the Reach. I was concerned you were in trouble." He looked away from her, the darkness surrounding them both. "You were wrong back at the inn, you know."

"Nathaniel?"

"About Cullen and Alistair, you said something along the lines that every man who loved you was not free to be with you."

She was suddenly aware of how short the space was between them now.

"I am going back to Amaranthine in the morning. I can no longer continue this journey," he said. "This is mage business."

Fable studied the floor. "How can you leave me now? You're all I have, you are my stalwart."

"I just can't go through this again, I can't."

He turned to leave and she wrapped her hand around his wrist. "Nathaniel," she said.

"I thought when you were finally done with this business with Alistair," he began. His blue-eyed gaze turned to her. "Forgive me." Nathaniel lifted her into his arms and kissed her.

"Nathaniel," she said, astonishment stroking every syllable of his name. "How long?"

"Since the very moment you spared my life," he replied. "I have thought of you every second of every day since. You are the most gracious, loving person I have ever met in my life. You didn't just give me back my rotten life, Fable, you gave me honor and purpose - you gave me my soul."

"But, Nathaniel," she said.

He closed his eyes. "I know, you don't feel the same way, I saw it back at the inn. I saw the way you looked at Cullen and it's Alistair all over again. I can't go through it again."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know," she said. Her face was still pressed to his and she was very aware she was still in his embrace. This was her best friend and he was hurting. She kissed him softly. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Nathaniel."

"I just wish it could have been me," he said and set her down. "Cullen is a good man, I can see that, an honorable man."

"I'm not _with_ Cullen, Nathaniel," she said.

He brushed her long dark hair off her shoulders. "I know what I was, but I am not that man any longer. There will come a time for us, I am certain of it. Now is not that time, however," he said.

"Nathaniel, do something for me?"

"Anything, you have only to ask."

"Don't go back to Amaranthine, go to Denerim, they need to be warned. Alistair needs to know what is happening. He – he is going to need your bow. Protect him, Nathaniel."

Nathaniel Howe smiled and shook his head. "Only you could ask this of someone who has just professed his undying love for you. You would have me protect the man that you love," he said.

The dark was lifting all around them. Dawn was breaking through the windows in her room. She took his hand and entwined her fingers in his. "Who knows what will come of all of this? You are my most trusted friend and I could not commit this undertaking to anyone but you."

"Will you do something for me, then?"

She nodded.

"Accept who you are, what you are," he said.

"And if I don't know who or what I am?"

He smiled and lifted his hand into her hair. His lips met hers with a gentleness she hadn't expected of the intense Warden. He pressed his face to hers and whispered against her mouth, "You are the protector of Thedas, you are the face of Andraste. But most of all, Fable Amell, you are the woman I love."

Nathaniel Howe left her breathless and she did not see him again.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

Wolves

Hawke finished packing her horse and turned to face her cousin. "You alright?"

"Nathaniel has gone to Denerim to protect the King. Alistair will defend that stupid chantry he was raised in, I just know it. I couldn't bear it if anything happened to him over this nonsense."

"Nathaniel left?" Hawke asked.

Fable's face flushed. "He thought it best."

Hawke nodded. "Did – did something happen?"

A cloud hung over her cousin's head. "I don't want to talk about it. Suffice it to say, it got a little weird and I actually saw the rationality of _your_ relationship for once." The Grey Warden cleared her throat and got back to the business at hand. "Dagna wants to join us. I told her I would confer with you."

"Sure, we could always use more firepower, especially since we just lost a strong bow. I knew an archer as good as Nathaniel once," she said.

Isolde did not come out to see them off. Connor stood with the Tranquil and the children he had taken in. "Take care of them, Connor," Fable said. "You were such a strong mage as a child, anyone else would have succumbed to her, you know. I couldn't have saved you had you become an abomination."

"Couldn't you do the same for him?" Connor asked and nodded towards Anders.

Hawke interrupted. "How do you know about Anders, Connor?"

"It's obvious he's possessed," Connor replied. "Or maybe it's only because I was."

"The only way to separate the spirit from Anders would be to destroy it as I did your demon, Connor," Fable said. "And the spirit that inhabits Anders is a friend of mine. I could no more kill him than I could you."

"I understand," he said. "Still, I don't know if I could live like that."

"He'll be alright. I have another friend who has been possessed by a spirit for longer than Anders even. And we're off to find her now," Fable said and mounted her horse.

"You know," Anders began. "It was Nathaniel who first suggested to Justice that he should possess a willing host."

"I don't want to talk about Nathaniel, Anders," Fable said and rode out in front to catch up with Cullen.

"I see," he said to Hawke. "Well, I guess west to Montsimmard then?"

"To Montsimmard," she agreed and they rode out. "Let's go, Merrill, they'll be fine!"

Merrill kneeled in the middle of the magelings, giving out hugs and advice to each of them. She reluctantly got to her feet and mounted her horse to follow Hawke.

"Connor, you're certain Finn was sure it was an Eluvian?"

"Yes, Merrill, it's like I told you last night, he was certain."

She crinkled her brow at this. "And the daughter of Asha'belanaar made it work?"

"Ask Fable, she was there," he told her.

"Dareth shiral," she said and rode to catch up to Hawke.

Hawke turned back to see Merrill catching up. "Merrill?"

"Lethallan, I've been thinking, did it seem to you that Asha'belanaar knew this was coming when I met you those years ago? She said—"

"'We stand upon the precipice of change. The world fears the inevitable plummet into the abyss. Watch for that moment... and when it comes, do not hesitate to leap. It is only when you fall that you learn whether you can fly,'" Hawke said. "I wrote it into my journal that same night. I've read it so many times, trying to figure out what she was on about. You're right, Merrill, Flemeth knew."

Merrill cupped a hand around her mouth, "Fable!" She called to the Grey Warden. "Hawke, there is something you need to hear. I heard it from Connor last night who was told the tale by his friend Finn in the Circle. It's about Asha'belanaar's daughter and Fable."

They caught up to Fable and Cullen.

Merrill looked at Hawke to see her expression when she asked Fable, "Tell me what you know about Eluvian."

"You mean the mirror?" Fable asked her.

Hawke and Anders both looked at each other and then back to the Grey Warden. "Wait, you know about Merrill's mirror?"

"Not _my_ mirror, Lethallan, _another_, a working one."

"My friend Morrigan disappeared through one," Fable said.

"Morrigan. Flemeth's _daughter_?" Hawke asked. "Where? How?"

"The Eluvian is in the Dragon Wastes. Finn, Ariane, and I left it there, we couldn't figure out what she did to make it work," Fable said and shook her head. "It's not a safe thing, cousin, there was a Varterral guarding it and it's said there will always be a Varterral as long as there is something to guard."

Hawke nodded. "I've killed the same Varterral twice. If only there was a way to talk to Flemeth."

"Or Morrigan," Fable said. "She seemed to know that this was coming, too. Just before she disappeared, she described a 'harrowing' to come. I think she meant this."

"Merrill, what did you to do to your Eluvian after," Hawke decided not to finish that thought.

"I – had it thrown into the Bone Pit," she said. They all looked at her. "I was very upset."

Hawke looked to her cousin, "Where's Morrigan's Eluvian?"

"West Amaranthine, in the Dragonbone Wastes."

"So they're both behind us," Anders said.

"Not necessarily," Dagna said and smiled. She turned her pony North. "You coming or what?" They all stared after her.

"She's adorable," Merrill finally said.

"Tell me again why we care about an Eluvian?" Anders asked.

"Because maybe Morrigan or Flemeth can give us some insight," Hawke said.

"This is a terrible idea. It destroyed Merrill," he said.

"Merrill doesn't look destroyed to me."

"Well, it nearly destroyed her then, it would have done if it weren't for you."

"Are you afraid of a giant mirror, love?"

"Don't be ridiculous," he said and rode away from her to ride next to the Warden-Commander.

"He is afraid of the witch, not the mirror," Fenris told her and Hawke fixed a thoughtful expression on the blonde healer.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm bored, to be honest. I don't know how she did this for a year, just travelling and camping, camping and travelling. There's so much dirt," he said.

She smiled and took his hand. "Set up your tent a little farther from camp tonight, then. We'll relieve some of that boredom."

Fenris smiled a bit at this and they settled into the steady rhythm of the countryside. Fable had decided to stay off the Imperial Highway for now, just to be safe, and it made for slow going as they picked their way through the base of the Frostback mountains.

"You follow her, it's interesting," he finally said.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we've always followed your lead, Hawke, but you defer to your cousin in this."

"She was a Circle mage, so this is her place, not mine. It's her former companion we're seeking and Anders followed her first, so it's easier this way," Hawke replied and chewed her lip in thought. "Plus, I think she's better at it."

"What happened in Kirkwall was not your fault, Hawke."

"Wasn't it? I was living with him. We helped him get the ingredients for his 'justice'. I distracted the Grand Cleric while he put it all in place. How was it not my fault? I may as well have blown up the Chantry myself," she said and urged her horse forward and away.

A few hours later they set up camp. Fenris had set his tent up far off from the others and Hawke smiled. They sat around the campfire and dined on stewed rabbit with carrots and onions. Nobody said much, each of them lost in their thoughts.

"What if we can't find Morrigan or Flemeth with the Eluvian," Dagna finally said. "What then? We've come so far out of our way."

"You said the Eluvian in Orzammar was close to working," Hawke replied.

Dagna nodded. "It – it glows, but it doesn't do anything else."

"Well, you got farther than me, then," Merrill said. "Mine wouldn't even reflect."

"I just can't help but think we should be after Wynne and not Flemeth or Morrigan."

"Flemeth and Morrigan both know more than anyone else, I think there is more going on," Fable said. "Also, I think I should… divulge certain facts that should be known before we go looking for Morrigan."

Everyone looked expectantly at her. Cullen came back from where he was tending the horses and sat down on the ground next to where she sat on a fallen log.

"Okay, so this is going to sound mad," she began.

"I don't like it already," Anders said.

"Whew, I can't believe how hard this is. The things I am about to tell you are detrimentally confidential to both the Wardens and the throne of Fereldan."

Merrill sat forward, eyes large and thrilled. Anders furrowed his brow. "Warden-Commander," he began.

"Don't worry, Anders, I know what I'm doing," Fable said. "So. The reason the Grey Wardens are needed to stop the Blight is not because we are any better than any other elite fighting exigency in Thedas, it's just because of the Taint. The Archdemon is an Old God reborn and unless there is a Grey Warden there at the time of the death of the Archdemon, the spirit of the Old God will just enter another Darkspawn and the cycle will begin anew. A Grey Warden must be present to take in the spirit of the Archdemon and," she found she couldn't say it.

"Die," Cullen said. He looked up at Fable then.

"Die," she granted.

Hawke stood up. "But I don't understand, the only two Grey Wardens there when the Archdemon died was Alistair and yourself. Why didn't one of you two die then?"

Fable squeezed her eyes shut, bit her lip, and shook her head as though she were unable to face the truth. "The night before the battle, after Riordan told us about this truth, Morrigan wanted to speak with me. She told me that neither Alistair nor I had to die." Fable held her hand out to Fenris. He handed her his wineskin and she drank long on it. She cleared her throat and continued. "Morrigan had concocted a ritual that would allow her to get pregnant with a Grey Warden's child and that 'child' would absorb the Old God."

"Shiva dan," Merrill whispered in Elvish.

"Holy shit," Dagna said.

Cullen looked angry. "He slept with her? He slept with that – that witch? Knowing he would get her with child?"

"Neither of us wanted to die, Cullen," Fable said. "If I could have knocked her up, I would've done it myself.

But… Morrigan disappeared after the battle as she promised she would. She told me the child was well when I confronted her at the Eluvian."

"What? Why? Who?" Hawke was sputtering out interrogative pronouns trying to make sense of the whole mess.

"She wanted a child that would have an Old God in him," Fable said.

"Andraste's great flaming knicker-weasels, Fable! What have you unleashed?" Anders cried. He stood up and began pacing in front of the fire. "You and that prat of a king have known about this all this time and neither of you said anything?"

"Anders," Fable tried.

"Maker, help us all, you've brought an Old God back!"

"He's a child, Anders, that's all he is," Fable said.

"Raised by a crazy witch, I've _met_ her mother, who, by the way, is a bloody _dragon_!"

"Anders calm down," Hawke replied.

Cullen looked horrified. "For once, I agree with the possessed apostate," he said. He shook his head and walked away.

"Cullen! Wait!" Fable cried and jumped up after him.

Hawke stomped up to Anders and kicked him in the shin. "You are such an idiot sometimes!"

Fenris was leaning against a tree with his arms crossed, staring at Anders.

"What are you bloody looking at?" He asked as he rubbed his knee.

"I'm just wondering why she's never done that before, it's certainly not the first time you've been an idiot," the elf said and walked to his tent.

"Cullen, stop, please, let me explain," Fable said.

"I don't understand how you can still love the man," he said. His gaze rested on the moon hanging low in the sky. They were beneath a willow tree that threatened to sweep them away with every gust of wind. "And you do, even now. I can see it in the way you can't look at me, at the way you twist your fingers when you say his name, the way you bite your lip, you still love this man."

"Would you rather one of us died?"

"No, I couldn't, I don't want to think of that," Cullen said.

"I'm the one who shoved the sword through its head, it would have been me, Cullen."

He looked away from her then. She looked at the pond behind him and lifted her shirt over her head and divvied out of her leggings. "Fable! What are you doing?" He exclaimed.

"You want to know who I am? You want to see this woman you think you love? Get out of that armor and get into this water right now," she said and dove into the pond.

He stood on the bank looking confused.

"I'm not going to bite you, Cullen. And don't worry, I won't blemish your pristine character, please just do this for me."

Cullen took off his armor and waded out into the water in his smallclothes. He stood shivering in the water while she swam around him. She swam up to him and stood up out of the water. Her hands hid her breasts from his view, her long dark hair washing a river down her back. She sparkled in the moonlight.

Fable turned around and pulled her hair to the side. "I'm not a fantasy a Templar boy made up in a Circle, Cullen. I want you to really look at me."

Cullen looked. His gaze fixed on her pale back in the starlight. She was covered in scars. Long ones, small ones, jagged and dark ones, silvery pale ones, they went down her back and her arms. "Touch them, they're real."

He held out a trembling hand and traced the marks on her back. She shivered beneath his touch as he followed the scars and trailed his fingertips down her arms. Fable lifted an arm over her head and wrapped it around his neck to show him the scars continued to her ribcage.

Cullen breathed in her hair and his lips found the nape of her neck. She closed her eyes and leaned back into him. "Who could love this? I'm damaged. I've been tortured and ripped to shreds by the most dreaded creatures in our world. My blood is poisoned with theirs and I can hear their whispering in the back of my mind. What separates me from them?" Fable asked him.

He turned her around suddenly and lifted her out of the water. His mouth met hers and she wrapped her arms around his neck. "You are beautiful, Grey Warden," Cullen said as he kissed her. "You are what stands between the innocent and the darkness that threatens our entire world. Could you be any more breathtaking?"

Cullen carried her to the bank and laid her down. He lay next to her and kissed her face softly from her forehead to her eyes to her nose to her lips. "I'm not him, Fable, I am not here to take his place."

"Cullen," she began.

"No, it's alright, it is. Just being here with you makes me whole. I used to stand outside your dormitory door and long for a glance from you. You never saw me, I was just another Templar to you. I had no idea how to show you who I was. No idea how to make you realize that I was a man beneath the armor, that my heart would nearly beat itself out of my chest when you would simply laugh and brush your hair out of your eyes. You were a world apart from me living within the same stone walls."

"I had no idea," she said.

"If you thought I would take advantage of you here, tonight, you're wrong. Don't think I don't want you, I have wanted you since the day I saw you. But I want you when I am the one you need. When I am the one you run to, when I am the one you can't save the world without, Fable. And I've already waited eight years, I am nothing but patient."

She laughed then and he smiled. "Maker, you are a beautiful man, Cullen. It's gone unsaid too long."

"When I look at you all I can think of are all things I should have told you when you were still at the Circle. I should have told you then that I'd have moved all the stars above Thedas for you," he said and traced the side of her face. "Now get dressed because I'm freezing."

Fable laughed again and he looked at her. "You don't do that nearly enough."

She smiled and pulled on her leggings and tunic. "I know you said you wouldn't take advantage of me, but would you mind sleeping with me in my tent tonight? I don't want to be alone, Cullen."

"I think I can manage that, lady."

Hawke watched from where she sat by the fire with Merrill as Fable and Cullen went into their tent.

"They seem cozy," Merrill said.

"The Eluvian," Hawke began. "You have an idea why it's not working, don't you?"

"Yes, I do, but I'm not going to share it yet until I can take a look."

"Merrill, you mean much to me."

The elf smiled sadly. "And you to me, Lethallan. I'm going to go to bed."

Hawke stood and stretched. She poured her tea into the fire and walked toward Fenris' tent. He pulled her inside and put a hand over her mouth.

"What the-"

"Shhhh," he said and clamped his hand down over her mouth harder. Fenris was alert and listening. "Make a moaning sound," he whispered.

She did as she was told and smiled at him.

He looked sternly at her and hushed her again. "We're surrounded, Hawke, I can't tell how many."

Hawke bolted upright and reached for her staff. She began to pull her mage armor on over her underclothes and Fenris did the same. "Let me do a pull to bring us all together."

"Moan again, they need to think we're preoccupied."

"Oh, and I'm the only one who moans when we're having sex?"

"Now is not the time for your wit, Hawke," he said.

She peeked out of the tent. "It's no good, we're too far from the other tents."

"Okay, on three, we need Cullen and Fable, you go to the tent they're sharing tonight, I'll grab the other three," he said.

"Alright, wait, on three or just after three?"

He kissed her hard on the lips. "Don't die, Hawke, promise me."

"Nothing will keep me from you," she told him.

"Three," he yelled and they dashed out of the tent.

It was almost as if time had slowed to a crawl. Fenris had been right, they had been surrounded. Two of the men were on Hawke's right so she whipped her stave at their throats and arced out a sheet of ice at them.

Fenris lit up the campsite with the light coming from his skin and she could hear him cutting down intruders to her left. She twirled her stave across her shoulders and held it out in front of her. There were more of them coming up behind Fenris and he bent down while she rolled over his back and shot out a ring of fire at the men behind him.

"A little help would be nice, people!" Hawke shouted. She and Fenris were now back to back. "Is it my imagination, or are these Tevinters, Fenris?"

"It's not your imagination," he shouted and cut through three of them.

Hawke clapped her stave and a group of them lifted into the air and slammed back down to the ground. "What are they doing here?"

"Your guess would be as good as mine, Hawke, now if you don't mind," he said and ripped another two in half with the sword she had given him.

"All of Magister Danarius' debts were paid off by Midas of Asariel. The Mark of Andoral is the property of the Magister, Midas! We are only here to claim the Magister's rightful property!" The captain shouted from the dark.

Anders, Fable, Cullen, Merrill, and Dagna came out of their tents armed and pointed at the trees where they could hear them but could not see them.

"Hand over the Mark of Andoral and we will leave you in peace, Rhiannon, Scion of Hawke!"

"What the?" Hawke sputtered at Fenris. "What in the blazes is the Mark of Andoral, may I ask?"

"We can find you at any time as long as you have the Mark of Andoral, do not make me ask again or our deal will come to an end."

"I don't have your blighted Mark of Andoral, serrah! We have no quarrel with you!"

The Captain emerged from the surrounding forest and pointed his sword at Fenris. "That is the Mark of Andoral, stupid woman, and Midas will have it retrieved."

Hawke stepped between the sword and Fenris. "You want Fenris? You'll have to come through me," she said. "You respect and fear your Tevinter mages?" Hawke lit her hands aflame. "I cut down Danarius like a bitch in a grubby little tavern in Lowtown. What do you think I'll do to you and your men, serrah?"

She snapped her fingers and it began to rain fire down on the Captain's men.

"You have made a grave mistake –" An arrow suddenly appeared where his left eye had been.

Hawke's eyebrows raised and the rest of the Tevinters fled.

"Hawke! Fire!" Fable said.

"Oh! Yes, shit! Quite right!" She patted out her hands and ended the spell. Two of the tents had burn holes in them.

"Brilliant strategy, setting our own camp aflame," Fable derided.

"I improvised," Hawke said. "Nobody else is wondering who shot the Captain? No? Nobody? Just me?" She bent down and plucked the arrow from his eye. Her finger ran along the shaft and she examined the crest and fletching. Hawke's face screwed up into a frown. "Sebastian," she whispered to herself.

"More trouble?" Fenris asked.

She handed him the arrow. "Recognize our Prince?"

"So Sebastian is here, too, it just keeps getting more and more interesting," he said and wiped the blood from his blade.

"What's the Mark of Andoral?"

"I have no idea, Hawke, I've never heard my markings called that before tonight."

Anders pulled a book from his pack. "I know what it means."

The others stopped what they were doing and turned their attention to the mage.

"Andoral is the Dragon of Slaves. He was the Archdemon of the Fourth Blight. He was slain by the Elven Grey Warden Garahel over 400 years ago. It would seem Danarius was up to more than making the perfect warrior, Fenris. It seems like the Magisters are worshipping the Old Gods again."

"But Danarius is dead," Merrill said. "Fenris is free."

"Danarius must have left a great deal of debt behind, and this Midas bought it off and acquired Danarius' assets in the process. If he found Danarius' work then he would know about these," Fenris said and indicated his lyrium markings.

"This would explain a lot, Fenris," Anders said. "I've never seen the type of magic you possess."

"I possess no magic, abomination!" Fenris spat out.

"He means your abilities, and he's right," Fable said. "I've never seen anything like it and believe me when I say that Anders and I have witnessed magic outside the realm of elves and humans."

"What did he mean that as long as we had the Mark of Andoral they would be able to find us?" Hawke asked.

"When we first met, I speculated that Danarius could find me through the markings somehow, remember? Maybe I was right."

"They'll think twice before they mess with us again, I'll wager."

"The next time might mean they'll just try to spirit Fenris away under our detection," Cullen said.

"Let them try," Hawke said.


	14. Chapter 14

_I won't be updating as crazy fast as I was as the plot gets a little more... entangled._

Chapter Fourteen

Worry

The horses wended their way through a beaten path in the forests of the Frostback Mountains. It was the path that ran west along the Imperial Highway and it was aptly named Smuggler River.

Hawke rode far ahead to do what she did best, scout for trouble. She pulled her mare up suddenly and dismounted looking for signs of an ambush. Holding the reins, she urged the horse quietly and found a feather that matched Sebastian's fletching under the dust in a hoof print ground into the path.

She picked it up and held it under her nose as she had watched her father do so many times before. Hawke closed her eyes and tried to pick the smells apart.

An arrow slammed into the tree in front of her, it missed her by an inch. Carved along the shaft were the words, "You're going the wrong way."

"I'm sure you're well aware that carving that into your shaft could've made you grievously misjudge, unless you meant to hit me, than by all means, whittle away, Sebastian," she called out.

The Prince didn't answer her taunt. Hawke scanned the trees but could not find the archer. She read his message again.

_You're going the wrong way._

Farther back, Fenris led the others to follow where Hawke had left her signature and it did not fall beneath his notice she was suddenly leading them off Smuggler River. He looked down at her trail and saw the bit of fletching. His large green eyes narrowed and he scanned the tall blue firs for the Starkhaven Prince.

"Have you been practicing?" Fable asked Anders.

"It's not an easy talent to learn," he said. They were talking about the Reach which she had started teaching him while they were travelling. "When I lose myself to the Taint, like you do, I just end up giving Justice control."

"So you need to figure out how to control both the spirit and the Taint separately?"

Anders nodded.

"Tempering Justice was never any easy feat, Anders."

"He remembers you," Anders told her. "But I think it's like a dream to him now."

"Why did you do it?" She asked her old companion.

"What? Let Justice possess me?" He thought about it for a few minutes. Hawke had asked him the same question the night she helped him avenge Karl, but that was seven years ago and seven years ago, he was a different man. "I was tired of running."

The forest ended and the wide pale snake of a road that led to the Gates of Orzammar opened up before them. Fenris smiled at Hawke standing triumphantly in the middle of the road as though she were the first to discover such a thing.

"You look like the cat that ate the canary," he said.

"I'm proud, I've never been this far east in my life and look, I found a perfectly xenophobic society just sitting here. Your Orzammar, Dagna?"

Dagna took a deep breath.

"You look like you're about to face a very cross Keeper," Merrill said. "I should know - I've worn that face on more times than I can count."

"It's just, I'm not a big favorite with the dwarves anymore," Dagna replied. "My father doesn't get the magic thing."

Merrill nodded. "The Keeper never got the mirror thing," she said. "Where did the dwarves find an Eluvian?"

Fable stopped. "They used the Lights of Arlathan," she said. "What did Finn do, Dagna?"

"No, it was in Cadash, we didn't need the blood, I swear," she said.

"I was all over Cadash, _twice_. I think I would have noticed a giant scary mirror," Fable said. "Finn is down there, isn't he?"

Dagna nodded. "He's in charge of the Circle here."

"Tell me we aren't going to introduce Merrill to that lunatic Finn," Anders said.

Merrill's eyebrows rose at the slight.

The road emptied out into a small merchant area of Surface dwarves and humans hawking wares to the travelers going in and out of Orzammar. They stabled their horses here and continued on to the dwarven city.

"You are not welcome here, Grey Warden," said the guard at the gate.

Hawke stepped forward. "Now, we can all be pleasant, can't we? This is the Hero of Fereldan we're talking about here."

"King Bhelen has stated she is no longer welcome here, stranger. Maybe the next time she chooses a king, she won't choose one as weak as Harrowmont, the stone take him."

"We need to gain entrance, we need access to your Circle of Magi, dwarf." Fable's words rang sharp and stern in the cold mountain air.

"I have a gift for King Bhelen," Dagna stated. "Let us pass."

"And what could you possibly bring Bhelen that he doesn't already have, surfacer?" The guard asked Dagna with disdain.

Dagna unstrapped Paragon from where she carried it across her back and twirled it elegantly before clapping it down with a thunderous boom and raising a storm of lightning all around the dwarves at the gate. "Magic, you nug testicle, now let us pass."

The guard narrowed his gaze and stepped aside. "Treachery will be dealt with mercilessly, and we will be watching." Dagna and the others went through the doors and entered the kingdom of the dwarves.

Fenris looked uneasy when the doors closed behind them.

"Fenris?" Hawke asked.

"I- am not comfortable here, there are no windows, there is no sky, there are relentless shadows," he said.

Hawke touched his cheek. "It'll be alright, we won't linger longer than necessary. We've been to the Deep Roads before, this isn't new to you, love."

"This feels – different," he said.

"Is our ex-slave not enjoying the distinct lack of escape routes and the inordinate amount of locked doors?" Anders asked. Hawke frowned at him. "In all seriousness, is it any wonder he has a touch of claustrophobia?"

Hawke pursed her lips together. "We shouldn't stay any longer than necessary," she said.

"On that, the three of us agree," Anders said and caught up to Dagna. "I thought we weren't going to go blabbing about our new toy," he said to the dwarf.

"They wouldn't have let you in, and," Dagna looked up at Anders and then away.

"And?" He crossed his arms at her.

"And I need to lift the shame I brought to my clan," she said.

"I thought that didn't matter to you?"

"It didn't until we got here. I need to see my father, Anders, and he won't grant me an audience. I thought if I brought back something for the dwarves," she said.

"That thing isn't named 'Paragon' because you think it's a pretty name, is it?"

Dagna blushed.

"Leave her alone, Anders, there's nothing wrong with trying to better your people," Merrill said.

"Yes, says the woman who killed her clan's Keeper," Anders said.

Merrill slapped him so hard that the crack rang in the Hall of Heroes. "You ever say that again and I'll show you why my clan feared me," she said with tears in her eyes. "You, above all people, have no place from where you can look down on me."

Hawke laid her hand on Merrill's wrist and the elf spun away. Anders simply looked astonished. "You okay?" She asked him.

"Merrill just hit me," he said.

"But you're charming," Fenris said as he passed. Hawke laughed and shook her head at the pair of them.

Once in the Commons, they were greeted by a small contingent of guards. "This way to the Royal Palace, Grey Warden," the one in the lead said.

Fable's eyebrows rose. "No."

"Excuse me?" The dwarf asked her.

"No. We are going to the Assembly. I know how Bhelen Aeducan works."

"Listen, Legs, you don't have much say in this, to the Palace, now." They brought out Finn, with a sword to his throat.

"Finn!" Fable cried out.

"Cousin," Hawke began. "Perhaps it's best to avoid an incident?"

"Well, what do you know? Here I am in danger again and oh look, Fable Amell is in the same room! What a coincidence," Finn finished dryly. "And she dragged along my favorite Templar, too, it must be my birthday."

"Reunion over then?" The guard asked and pointed them in the direction of the Diamond District.

Cullen stopped Fable to leave some space between them and the guards. "Is Finn a blood mage?"

"Why does it matter now?" She asked him.

"I'm trying to come up with an escape plan in case it all goes terribly wrong, _Fable Amell_," he said and smiled slyly.

"Oh, my cousin is a terrible influence on you, Ser," she said and took his hand.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

Wily

"Aeducan," Fable said as she walked into the throne room, "where is the Assembly?"

"Dissolved," Bhelen said. "Where are your manners?"

"Dissolved," she shot back. "You threaten one of my men."

"Uh – to be perfectly clear, I am not one of her 'men'," Finn exclaimed.

"Well, Dagna, where is this 'magic' that you've brought me?" Bhelen asked.

"I'm not giving you anything," Dagna said. "Not after the way you've treated Finn."

"Please stop saying my name," Finn said. Fable shot him a warning glance.

One of Bhelen's men came and relieved Dagna of her staff. He took the staff and studied it for several moments. "Show me how to make it work," he said.

"I could no more teach a fish to fly," she spat.

"The guards said you wielded magic at the gates with this," he said and stood up from his seat on the dais above them. "So you will _show me how it works," _the King of Orzammar roared.

"You're tiny for a tyrant," Hawke observed. A guard cracked a spear behind her thighs forcing her to her knees. "And touchy about it," she said with a huff of pain and watery eyes.

Fenris gritted his teeth and went for the guard. Anders pulled him back by the shoulder and Fenris shrugged him off but stayed where he was.

"Here's the thing about Orzammar," Bhelen said, "we don't get involved with your surface-bickering over borders."

A tall, gaunt man entered the room and stood behind Bhelen's throne. He ran his fingers through his black goatee and said, "I thought you'd be bigger," to Fenris.

Hawke moved to stand between Fenris and the Magistrate. Fenris' hand went to the blade at his back and the rest of the guards unsheathed.

"Do you know what keeps Orzammar going, Grey Warden? And this shouldn't be hard for you," Bhelen said.

"Lyrium," she said.

"Lyrium," he approved. "Do you know who we sell the most lyrium to?"

"The Tevinter Imperium."

"Wow, I was told you were smart for a human, but you are just blowing my mind right now," the king said. "So, here's the thing, when your best customer comes to you and offers you a pretty great trade agreement and all you have to do is turn over his stolen property, well good business sense says you _take the deal_."

"Over my dead body," Hawke said.

"Oh, no, you're wanted for crimes against the city-state of Kirkwall, says so right here, but apparently they want you _alive_," Bhelen said and he held up a wanted poster. "As for the Grey Warden, she's going to cool her heels in our very locked guest rooms for a few days and sent back out into the sun. No harm, no foul. It's just business," he concluded.

"You son of a whore," Fable said.

"Such spirit," the Magister said with admiration. "A pity she's so well known."

"This elf is worth much more than better terms in a trade agreement," Hawke said and pushed Fenris forward. "You see his skin? It bears the Mark of Andoral, the Archdemon of the Fourth Blight. That is lyrium, pure lyrium embedded in his skin and it allows him to phase through solid objects. Imagine what kind of army you could wield with a power like that."

The magister twisted his mouth in anger at her.

Bhelen looked at him. "Midas?"

"We can talk more agreeable terms once I have the slave in my custody, highness."

Hawke snorted. "I'm sorry," she said and then burst out a short laugh. "But if you think you'll ever see this Magistrate again after you hand Fenris over to him than you're even stupider than you look. And here I actually believed the rumors that you conspired against your own blood to sit your dwarven ass on that throne were true."

"Enough!" Bhelen roared. "Take these humans and elves out of my sight, lock them in the Carta dungeon for now. I want Dagna in my rooms, though."

"And what of us, majesty?" Midas said.

"Return to your guest quarters, I need to confer with my advisors before I make a decision regarding this elf of yours for now."

"Nice," Anders murmured to Hawke. "It's that winning personality of yours that makes you simply irresistible to me."

"It bought us a few hours, at least," she replied.

"Let us hope you know what you are doing," Fenris added as they were disarmed and dragged out of the palace.

Hawke was instructed to clasp her hands together and a heavy iron box was fitted over her hands and around her wrists. The rest of the mages got the same treatment. They were left in the Carta dungeon.

"Mage boxes," Fenris said. "I have only heard of them, I've never actually seen one in use."

"Well, they could use a little padding," Hawke said with her face scrunched up in pain.

"This could be problematic," he replied.

"You think?" Finn cried. "Maker, Fable, I could have gone the rest of my life without running into you again and would have died a happy mage. You are no end of trouble."

"The Eluvian, how close are you to opening it?" Fable asked him.

"That's what you're here for? You shouldn't have come then, I've had no progress whatsoever since I got it to glow."

"Merrill?" Hawke prompted her Dalish friend.

Merrill looked up in response to Hawke. "I don't know, I have some ideas, but, I just don't know."

"Escape ideas? Cullen? Fable? Anyone?" Hawke asked.

"I can't believe how much I miss Isabela right now," Anders said staring longingly at the lock on his mage box.

Hawke stared at the ceiling and backed against the wall between Fenris and Anders. She slid down the wall and sat in the dust on the floor of the cell they were in. Taking her lead, the rest sat as well, the mage boxes were substantial and there was no telling how long they'd be in there.

Anders and Fenris both sat close to Hawke, and she rested her head on the black feathers of Anders' coat and curled her legs into Fenris' lap. The mage box sat heavy and gray in her lap.

Hawke looked to her cousin. Cullen sat against the wall across from them with Fable sitting between his legs and resting her iron box on his thigh. The warden had her head resting against his chest and he absently ran his fingers through her long dark hair.

Merrill sat quiet and pale in a corner by herself, she was moving her lips as though she were reading to herself. Hawke noted that Merrill resembled a hare caught in a trap, wild with fright, and she frowned with concern. Finn sat shaking his head with disbelief.

"Merrill?" Hawke finally said.

"Even if we figure a way out of here, that dwarf still has Dagna," the elf replied. "And we can't leave here without her."

Fable nodded in agreement. "Why do the dwarves have these things, Finn?"

"Well, when we opened the Circle free of the Chantry here, there was a lot of dissension among some of the more traditional types down here, so these were created as a fail-safe should they need to take any of our mages into custody," he said. "We don't have Templars in our Circle." Finn glanced nervously at Cullen.

There was a distinct "thunk" on the wooden door and it swung open slowly. The dwarf standing guard outside was attached to the door by an arrow in the throat.

"Sebastian?" Hawke called out.

"Oh, come on, Hawke, do you really think that self-righteous choir boy would break _Blondie _out?"

"Varric!" Hawke sat straight up, but couldn't make it to her feet with the heavy box on her wrists. Fenris lifted her up and she rushed the bars. "Maker, am I happy to see that gorgeous chest hair!"

"Please, Hawke, you're making Bianca jealous," he replied.

"Oh, Varric," Merrill cried. "I can't believe it's really you."

"What the hell have you gotten yourself into this time?"

"No questions, we need to get out of here," she said. "What are you doing down here?"

"Who do you think helped pay for Bhelen's throne? He's pro-commerce, so I have my House name reinstated, and I need to come down here to mind this part of our business every 3 or 4 months. Besides, Bartrand is here, and I, you know, visit," he finished.

He put a lock picking kit between his teeth and went to work on the jail door. Varric clenched his teeth around the tools and said, "I heard there was some smart-mouthed human in the palace giving the King a good tongue-lashing, and not the kind I write about, and knew it could only be you, Hawke. Is that… Cullen with you?"

"Yeah," Hawke replied.

"I thought he liked boys," Varric said in regards to Cullen's arm wrapped around Fable.

"Excuse me?" Cullen balked.

"You were one of the few hot guys in Kirkwall that Hawke didn't nail, sorry, Templar."

Hawke kept her smile and spoke through clenched teeth, "Standing right here, Varric."

"We need to get to Cadash Thaig," Merrill said. "And," she hesitated before asking, "do you think you can pick these, please, pretty please?"

Varric popped open the Carta's door. "Hmm," he said, looking at the boxes. "These look complicated, better we just make a break for it first."

"And what, use my razor sharp wit on them if we run into trouble?"

"Hawke said sarcastically," Varric replied. "Oh, alright let me look, but it's only because we can't carry all of your weapons without dragging the bag through a dust trail."

"You have our weapons?" Fable asked.

Varric seemed to only take notice of her now. "Bloody hell, Hawke, you do get around."

"You know who I am?"

"Is there a storyteller on Thedas who doesn't, lady?" Varric looked at Cullen. "Nice. Holding out for the big hand, I see."

"How did you know we were down here?" Fable asked him.

"I happened to be just getting to the palace after hearing about the mouthy human when a certain very hot girl got dragged out of the throne room and down to Bhelen's private quarters. They locked her door, I let myself in, got the quick gist of the situation, and here we all are."

Dagna poked her head in the door where she was playing lookout and waved. "Wait," she said. "You think I'm hot?"

"Like a firecracker," Varric replied and Hawke saw the way he smiled at Dagna.

"Maker, you're actually flirting! We're in a life or death situation here, dwarf!"

"Oh, life, shmife, Hawke, quiet down and let me work."


	16. Chapter 16

_Back to school week here and a vacation coming up, so I'll have this and another chapter up this week and there won't be anything until late next week. Thanks for the read!_

Chapter Sixteen

Walk

A day and a night passed, maybe even two, Hawke could not tell in the Deep Roads, not like her cousin. She thought it might be a Grey Warden thing, but Anders couldn't seem to tell either just how long they travelled. Fable just seemed attuned to the Deep Roads like no one else, except maybe her remarkable Duncan that she spoke of much on their journey. Anders had been busy enough trying to keep them mended on the treacherous path they walked, no, _ran_.

The Tevinters were close behind and Hawke could see it in Fenris' eyes, the hunted look he had back in Kirkwall for so long. Hawke reached out and brushed her fingers against his. "It's not your fault, Fenris," she said as Anders bandaged Dagna's sprained ankle from a slide down a crumbling path.

The elf frowned. "Isn't it?"

"I hate the blighted Deep Roads," Anders complained again.

"So you've said, Blondie," Varric replied.

Cullen came back from his scouting. "It seems clear enough and I think I could see your thaig from just over the next bridge, so we could be close."

"I feel like I only dreamed the light," Merrill said wistfully.

Anders tugged at Hawke and pointed to Merrill. Hawke stopped and took a longer look at her Dalish friend.

"The Blight?"

"I can't be certain, but I've noticed she's… slowing down, like Carver did."

"I won't lose her, Anders, I refuse."

He nodded and tucked her hair behind her ear. "The Warden-Commander is here, she has lyrium and mages at her disposal, if it is the Blight, we will save her, love, I promise. But I don't think it's the Blight, I think… she's coming undone. You might want to talk to her, it could be the stone, it can become overwhelming for Dalish elves."

"She'll be okay," Finn said. "Not to eavesdrop or anything, but she'll be amazed with Cadash Thaig, I haven't told her my big surprise, the mystery behind it." He looked pleased with himself.

"Which is?" Hawke asked.

"You'll see," he said enigmatically and then pulled a thread from his robe. "Maker! I just had these enchanted, that is _never_ going to come out, bloody disgusting bats."

Hawke ran up ahead to get a look at the thaig from where Cullen had said he had seen it. The last thing she heard was the growling chuckle of a genlock emissary from the path above her and the rocks raining down.

"No! Maker, no!" Anders cried out as he saw the tunnel collapse onto Hawke. The genlock was cut in two by Fenris.

The rest fell into a battle with dozens of Darkspawn and Anders ran in a panic to the fallen stone. "Don't you do this to me, Hawke, not now, not after everything," he cried while he dug through the debris. She could have been anywhere.

Anders turned around to check the party was doing okay without him and then he closed his eyes and let the taint swallow both him and Justice entirely. All he thought about was the blood of _her_, the way her heart felt beneath the weight of him, how her eyes filled with tears when she couldn't deal with her own bitter anger, the heat of her fingers tracing the muscles of his back when they were alone in their tent after a long day of fighting. He closed his eyes and focused on only these things. The sour smell of her hair after a night at the Hanged Man, the way her teeth felt when he tasted her mouth with his tongue, the quiet tune she hummed when she thought nobody was listening - he focused everything he knew about Hawke into the slamming pulse in his veins and _reached._

Two life signs answered back in the same place. He honed in on the spot and began to dig his way through the rubble.

"Come on, Hawke," he whispered fiercely.

"Where is she?" Fenris demanded.

"She's here, she's somewhere under here," Anders replied. They dug together until Anders found her hand and began to brush away the dirt and wreckage to clear it off.

"Move," Fenris said and he lit up an alarming shade of blue all over.

Anders nodded and watched as the elf did the one thing with his talent that he never did - he _saved_ a life. Fenris reached through the stone and located the flesh of the woman he loved. He focused on closing his hands under her arms instead of inside her and pulled her out with a groan. Fenris fell back and Anders brushed the dirt off her face and from around her mouth.

"Two?" He said to nobody in particular. She was breathing and there were definitely two life signs emanating from her. Anders let go of the Reaching spell and looked around to see if anyone had heard him.

Hawke coughed and sat up. Merrill kneeled next to her and made her drink from her waterskin. "I hope like hell that one of those greasy smears in the dirt is the bastard who dropped that tunnel on me," she finally said. "And Cullen, you suck at scouting." Anders sat in the dirt next to her. He had taken to wearing his hair pulled completely back while they travelled and it had come undone from the leather thong he used to hold it with. His hair was all around his face, something she hadn't seen since their bedroom on the morning before he pitched Kirkwall into chaos. She reached out and tucked her knuckle under his chin to make him look at her. "I'm not going to let a tunnel take me out, Anders, that would just be insulting."

He smiled at her then and she couldn't comprehend the meaning behind it. Anders had never smiled at her like that before.

Fenris put his hand out to help her up, she took it and he pulled her up and into his arms. "You had me worried for a moment there," was all he said. He gave her a small sweet smile and sheathed his sword.

"There," Cullen said and pointed to an odd sight. It was a thaig bathed in shafts of random sunlight and covered in emerald green moss and scattered vines. "Your thaig?"

"Oh my goodness," Merrill breathed. "It doesn't look like anything down here."

"That's because it's not like anything down here," Fable said. "My friend Shale is from this odd little thaig."

"It's _beautiful_," Merrill pronounced and led the group down the bridge to Cadash.

Anders watched as Hawke looped her arm in Merrill's and thought on what he had discovered.

_Two_.


	17. Chapter 17

_I'll be out of town so this won't be updated until sometime late next week. Thanks so much for enjoying my own little DA3. 3_

Chapter Seventeen

Witch

"Elgar'nan, the elves of Arlathan really came here?" Merrill asked again. Tears sparkled in her eyes and Hawke was unsure if she was crying for their misery or because she was overwhelmed with finally putting a piece in her precious peculiar puzzle.

"Merrill?" Hawke finally said.

"I'm fine, Lethallan," she finally said, but the wavering in her voice betrayed her. "It's just, so hard to imagine the horror that would drive them beneath the sun and wind and rain. I can't imagine having to make a decision like that."

Hawke touched a moss covered wall, crumbled in places and left to rot. "Do you feel how thin the Veil is here, Anders? It's like on Sundermount."

Anders nodded. "It might be that there are a great many Elven dead here," he said.

"Might be?" Merrill said. She twisted around and stared at them with horror. "What do you think happened to the elvhen that lived here? Do you think they just went back to the surface? They're _all_ here. They can't leave!"

Hawke closed her eyes at the pain written bold on Merrill's pretty face. Cullen approached the blood mage and grazed her elbow with his fingertips.

"Help them," he said.

"What?"

"Help them move on, Merrill. It's what I'd do if they were Andrastian."

Fable took Cullen's and Hawke's hands and closed her eyes. Hawke grabbed Anders' hand, he took Dagna's, and Dagna took Varric's. Hawke looked at Fenris who screwed up his mouth in anger and took Merrill by the hand. The four humans and two dwarves stood in a half circle before the two elves and Finn stood to the side and studied them. Hawke stared hard at her Dalish friend.

"Hahren, na melana sahlin," Hawke began.

Merrill shook her head in grief, "I can't Hawke, I can't."

"Hahren, na melana sahlin," Hawke said again.

Merrill dropped her gaze to the stone at her feet and watched as her tears left marks in the dust. Fenris squeezed her hand.

"Give them their release, Merrill, I do not know the words, but I am here, I will help as much as I can," the elf said.

_"Hahren, na melana sahlin_

_emma ir abelas_

_souver'inan isala hamin_

_vhenan him dor'felas_

_in uthenera na revas_

_vir sulahn'nehn_

_vir dirthera_

_vir samahl la numin_

_vir lath sa'vunin_," Merrill finished.

A circle of wind shattered the air all around them and whipped their hair and robes. Screams from the elves could be heard crackling from the stone as though the dwarves from Kal'sharok were here to take their lives once more.

"_In uthenara na revas_!" Merrill shouted at them, small blue lights lit the thaig as they raced in panic and fear. "_In uthenara na revas_! Your waking sleep is freedom," she roared at the spirits of long dead elves. "_Na melana sahlin_, your time has come!" Merrill slammed her Keeper's staff into the stone and everything became as still as it had been.

Fenris caught her as she gasped and fell forward onto her knees. "It is over," he said.

"Why would the dwarves do such a thing?" Merrill asked between her sobs.

Varric stood above where she knelt on the moss and stone. "Daisy," he said and held his arms out for her. "Haven't you learned anything yet? For money, of course."

Merrill fell into his arms and cried into Varric's coat. "No," she said, "no, please, no."

Varric sat with Merrill while Fable and Hawke nodded to Finn. He slowly turned his head in the direction of a twisted rock that Fable had not noticed on her previous two trips.

"It had been covered in ivy when we were here that last time, with Ariane," he said.

"It," Hawke began, "looks like a tree, like a stone tree."

"Vhenadahl," Fenris said. "It's the first Vhenadahl, the tree of the elves living outside of nature."

"The Eluvian is here," Finn finally said and they followed him around the Vhenadahl where they found an opening in the great petrified tree.

Merrill's sobbing seemed to have desisted and she gently pushed Anders out of her way so she could walk up to the towering mirror. It was glowing.

"By the Creators," she whispered. "It's true, it's awake."

"Merrill, can we use it?" Hawke asked her.

"Can we follow Morrigan?" Fable asked.

"Can we hurry?" Finn asked. "There are dwarves and Tevinters fighting on the bridge!"

Fenris unsheathed his Blade of Mercy. "Venhedis," he swore in Tevinter. "Their numbers are great, witch, get a move on!"

"They haven't seemed to have spotted us yet," Varric replied quietly to him and checked Bianca's scope. "I'll go trap the path." The dwarf said and disappeared.

"Merrill, can we do anything to help," Hawke asked her.

"Yes, you can all be quiet," she said and bit down on her finger in thought. "I don't know how to tell it where we want to go, but I think if we open it, it will go to the last place it opened to."

Finn nodded, "Those were my thoughts as well, but I couldn't open it."

"By the Dread Wolf! How could I be so stupid!" She yelled and smacked herself in the head. Merrill whirled around on Hawke. "Fenris," she said.

"What?" Hawke asked her.

"The Mark of Andoral, Hawke, please go get it for me."

Anders and Hawke looked at each other. Cullen unsheathed his sword and said, "I'll go hold the line, you get Fenris."

Hawke scrambled down the small embankment from the petrified tree. "Fenris! Merrill says she needs you!"

Cullen swept past them, sword and shield in hand. Fable was right behind him.

"They might need another mage and what good would that do them if you were with me in the fray?" Cullen argued with her.

"Shut up, Cullen," she said. "I'm with you, we hold them back."

Fenris and Hawke returned to Merrill. "There is no way to open it on this side. It's a locked door. You're the only one who can go through it and unlock it from the other side," she told him.

"What? No, we don't know what's on the other side! I could be killed and leave you all here to die, we don't know if there's even a way I would understand how to open it from the other side, Merrill, or if someone who can't use magic can even do it."

"You can wield magic, Fenris," Hawke said and he stopped and looked at her. "All Elvhen know a bit of old magic, right, Merrill?"

"Hawke," he began, shaking his head adamantly. "I won't do this, I won't leave you."

She reached out and pulled his face to hers. Hawke looked up at him and kissed him slowly in front of all of them. "You must save us, Fenris," she said and dug her gauntleted claws into his markings forcing him to ghost. "Forgive me, beloved," Hawke said and shoved Fenris through the Eluvian.

"Hawke!" Fenris said and was gone. The traps started going off all up the path and they all turned around to see a swarm of well-armed dwarves swallowing up the bridge and pouring out into the thaig.

Anders took Hawke's hand when he saw Cullen doing the same to Fable below them on the path.

"Do your worst, nug-humpers!" Dagna cried and cracked Paragon on the stone. She put up a ring of fire around them all.

"Hmm, I would have thought of that eventually," Hawke said.

Merrill watched as the flames began to sputter out despite Paragon's strength. She turned and saw the color of the mirror turning from blue to green to a gold color.

"Merrill! I think it's opening," Finn yelled.

"Hawke," she cried out and passed through the floor and emerged next to the Grey Warden down on the path below. She grabbed Fable and disappeared back into the stone again. She emerged back by the mirror with the Warden in hand and did it again for Cullen and Dagna, and Varric.

She crumpled from the effort and Varric whipped her up into his arms. The Eluvian opened and a pale hard-faced woman with long dark hair stuck her head out.

"Fable Amell, you are insufferable. You must have endured some great blow to the head to continue following me," she said.

"Shut up, Morrigan and help us out, for Maker's sake," Fable replied. The dwarves closed in.

"Blasted damnation, you are an intolerable wretch of a friend," Morrigan said and propelled the dwarves back a few feet with a spell. "Please don't wait for an invitation," she said and held her hand out to the Grey Warden.

They all took hands and followed the witch through the Eluvian.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Truth

"Well, well, well," said the witch. "What have we here?"

The group picked themselves up and out of the pile they had fallen in. A familiar gauntleted hand pulled Hawke to her feet and she stood face to face with Fenris.

"Oh!" She jumped up into his embrace and wrapped her legs around his waist. He was force to catch her or be pulled down beneath the weight of her zeal.

"Do not ever do that again," he growled at her.

Hawke pulled his face to hers and kissed him.

Fable stood up and dusted herself off.

"You are a perfect terror, Grey Warden, do you know that?" Morrigan said from where she leaned with crossed arms in an arched doorway.

"I'm aware, Morrigan."

"At least you didn't bring that repellent mongrel with you this time."

"I left Scout at the Keep," Fable replied.

"I was speaking of Alistair," Morrigan said. "So, what is this mess of a crew you have with you, then, eh?"

Fable turned and counted the group, they had all made it. Morrigan fixed her gaze upon Anders. "You even have an abomina— oof!" Morrigan had the breath squeezed out of her by the petite Hero of Fereldan. "Decorum, Warden, please!"

"You saved us, Morrigan," Fable said to her and released her impulsive hug on the witch. "We were in big trouble back there."

"Well, it wasn't all my doing," Morrigan replied. "Your Mark of Andoral made a compelling case for me to open the Eluvian."

Hawke looked at Fenris, who shrugged.

"Staring down the blade of a Mercy Sword held by a glowing, irate elf makes a persuasive argument."

"You know about the marks, Morrigan?" Hawke asked her.

"It is my business to know the Old Ways and their gods now," Morrigan said.

"Not to look a gift horse," Varric said, "but where _are_ we?"

They looked around. It seemed to be some sort of tower, with only the mirror, a desk, a chair, a lantern, a single window, a shelf filled with dusty tomes and a staircase that led down.

"You're very lucky I was even up here when your elf popped in. Nice trick, by the way, care to explain how you came through a closed mirror?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do care," Fenris responded curtly.

"He's not ungrateful, he's just distrustful of magic," Hawke tried to explain.

Morrigan waved Hawke away as though she were an annoying gnat. "You're in Montsimmard," Morrigan finally said. "The White Spire of Orlais is a few miles from here. I'm going to assume that's where you were headed, am I right?"

"How could you know we were going to the White Spire?" Anders asked her.

"You are more than likely after that decrepit corpse of a mage, Wynne, who is being held by The Libertarian."

"You're well informed," Fable said.

"The Libertarian is after Urth, I make it my business to know his business, naturally."

"Urth?" Hawke asked.

Fable was staring out the window with a faraway expression on her face. "Alistair's son," she said.

"My son, Grey Warden," Morrigan snapped.

"Why would you keep your son so close to The Libertarian if he is hunting you?" Cullen asked.

"Why wouldn't I, Templar? I can keep an eye on him from here, and he can't penetrate my veils that I put up around this tower. Plus, I have the perfect escape route up here," she said and nodded towards the mirror. "Tsk, tsk, Warden, you certainly have a thing for men in skirts, don't you?"

"He's not a Templar," Fable said.

"So twas another condescending prat we rescued in the Circle of Magi?"

"Fair enough," Cullen acknowledged.

"I'm more interested in your dwarf's toy," Morrigan said.

"Sorry, lady, Bianca doesn't swing that way," Varric replied.

"Women?"

"Evil bitches."

Morrigan smiled. "Amusing, but I was not speaking of _your_ tiny toy, little man, I was speaking of _hers_."

Dagna backed away from the woman in black. "Show me yours and I'll show you mine," she said.

Morrigan's eyes glittered. She lit a ball of mageflame and hurled it lightly at the dwarf. Dagna countered it with a push of a blue crystal on Paragon, freezing the flame in midair.

"Useful, practical, tis an ingenious weapon from someone like you and it stinks of golem," Morrigan approved.

Dagna nodded. "Shale and I worked on this together."

"Where is our pragmatic woman of stone?"

"Tevinter," Dagna replied.

Morrigan nodded. "Well, alright then, will you sup with us? No? Tis a shame you can't stay longer." She turned and started down the staircase.

"We have business with you, Mor," Fable replied and followed her down the stairs. "We will sup with you and we have some questions."

"I do not know where she is, Warden, you had promised me you had killed her," Morrigan said. "You lied."

"I didn't lie! Morrigan, we killed her! Zevran, Sten, Alistair, and I, we killed her, I swear it by our friendship!"

"She's not lying, I was asked to deliver a trinket for her to a Dalish elf and then to a cemetery. She emerged from the trinket when my friend there did a rite for the dead over it," Hawke said.

"Backdoors were always her specialty," Morrigan said. "I am sorry, my friend, I admit that I had doubted you. I should've guessed at her treachery."

"She's your mother, Morrigan, and she knows about what is going on."

"Is that all? You want to know what is going on?" Morrigan laughed then. "Oh, you naïve child, haven't you guessed yet?"

"The Libertarians are making a bid for the Black City," Anders finally said. "They mean to bring the Black City to our realm with the Old God, our mages, and the Eluvians."

Morrigan smiled.

"We stand upon the precipice of change. The world fears the inevitable plummet into the abyss," Hawke whispered.

"They will tear a hole in reality if they succeed, we will be flooded with demons and spirits," Fable said. "He's a mad man."

Morrigan sized up her friend and placed her hand over hers. "Truer words were never spoken, Warden."

"And where do I fit into this?" Fenris asked.

"They want to use you the same way that she did, they want to push you through into the Black City in hopes that you can open the gate from the other side," Morrigan said.

"And if I refuse?"

"I'm going to assume you won't be able to, besides, I am almost positive they only need your hide, elf."

Hawke frowned and took Fenris' hand in hers. "They'll have to go through me, first."

"Please, Morrigan, please, let me see him," Fable asked.

Morrigan crossed her arms. "Why?"

"I need to know he's okay," Fable said. "That… that he's normal."

"Oh for goodness sake, Warden, you're so melodramatic," Morrigan said. "You can come out, Urth, it's alright."

A little boy peeked out from behind a cupboard in the kitchen. Fable approached him.

"Hi," she said.

Urth looked to his mother, she nodded. "Hi," he said back.

"I'm Fable," she told him.

"I'm Urth."

Fable stared at him, searching his face. She reached a hand out and brushed his hair out of his eyes. "There he is," she whispered. Only the boy's eyes favored the King of Fereldan. "Show me your best spell," she said.

"What's yours?" He asked her.

Fable smiled. She stood up and waved her staff and arms and created a swarm of golden insects seemingly from the very air. They buzzed and hovered over the pair and then she banished them as quickly as they appeared.

Urth smiled. "That's pretty good. I can do that," he said. His eyes went a gold glow and he opened his mouth as if to scream. The boy exploded into a swarm of wasps before their very eyes.

Merrill covered her hand over her mouth and made a little shriek. "Shiva dan!"

"Enough, Urth," Morrigan commanded.

The swarm of wasps became a boy once again. He offered Fable a cheeky grin. She didn't smile back.

"That's quite a trick, Urth," she finally said. "Did your mother teach you that?"

He nodded. Anders came over and took Fable's hand. "Did you feel that? The pull from the Fade when he created the swarm?"

Fable frowned and looked at the child again. "Thank you, Urth, for showing us that. It was an amazing feat." She turned to Morrigan who refused to look at her friend while she prepared supper.

Cullen approached the Warden-Commander. "What is it, Fable?"

"That child possesses more power in his little finger than all of the mages in this room put together."

He pulled her into his chest. "You're freezing."

"Cullen," she said and wrapped her arms around him.

"You're trembling," he said. "Tell me what it is." Cullen examined the child closer from where he held her. "Fable, you're afraid of him."

She shivered deeper into the former Templar's embrace. "I already killed him once, Cullen. I don't know if I can do it again."


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Balm

"First thing's first," Hawke said. Her cousin had been unnaturally quiet throughout the simple dinner Morrigan had prepared for them. "We need to reach the First Enchanter and then we cut off the head of the dragon. We need to kill this Libertarian before he destroys everything."

"Agreed," Cullen said. Everyone else nodded as well.

Fable stared at the rabbit stew in front of her. She dipped her spoon in and out several times before she finally said. "Do you really think that Wynne will let us murder her son?"

"There's no choice, Fable," Anders said.

Fable's eyebrows lifted high on her face and she let out a tired laugh. "This is insane. We'll have to kill Wynne. I won't do that."

"Not necessarily," Hawke replied. "We could just incapacitate her."

Fable shook her head and pushed back from the table. "If you will all excuse me, I am exhausted of this conversation. Morrigan, is there someplace I can rest?"

"There is a barn outside you may all make camp in. We haven't the space to spare in our small tower here. You may help yourself to any spare lanterns and blankets I might have, I would not be called ungracious." She gave her friend a queer smile that said she didn't really care if she were thought ungracious or not.

Fable left the room to an astonished Hawke. They all looked at Cullen. He shrugged and returned his attention to the stew.

Varric cleared his throat. "Perhaps you should think of a different plan, Hawke, this one is making your cousin uncomfortable."

Hawke stood and paced the room for a few minutes. "What would you have us do, Varric? Do you think someone who is capable of opening the gates to the Void to Thedas is going to, what? Listen to rationality?"

"She is right, we can't change who Wynne's son has become, dwarf," Fenris replied.

Anders seemed somewhere else.

"And what of you, Anders? You know Wynne, as well, she won't see the impossibility of the situation?"

"I've spoken to Fable at length about Wynne and it would seem that Wynne might be like me."

"Which a terrorist or an abomination?" Fenris sneered.

"I won't let you bait me tonight," he told the elf. "She is possessed by a spirit of Faith."

"And that means, what, exactly? In regards to how she will act if we threaten her child?"

"There's also a third party none of us are considering," Cullen finally said. They all looked to the former Templar, his fingers were laced together and he rested his mouth onto his outstretched forefingers in thought. "The black rider who brought Wynne here, he's an unknown in this equation. We have no idea if he is with the Libertarians, or if he brought Rhys' mother here to stop him."

Hawke looked out the window. "Cullen's right, of course. I don't like wild cards."

"Oh, please, Hawke," Varric said.

"So, what? We just waltz into the White Spire?" Dagna asked.

"You could ask me, of course, if you want to get into the White Spire," Morrigan replied.

Finn came running down the stairs from the room the Eluvian was in. "There's another Eluvian in the White Spire! She can see what he's doing from there! I got it to work!" Everyone stop and gawped at him. He cleared his throat and smoothed his robes. "Well, Merrill got it to work. But I helped."

Merrill came down the stairs and walked out the front door. Hawke frowned and followed her. She was sitting on the ground in the middle of Morrigan's garden. Hawke sat next to her.

"Merrill?"

"I lost everything for Eluvian, Hawke, and now that we've figured out the puzzle… now that we know there are so many," she trailed off.

"You feel it diminishes your sacrifice, Merrill?"

Tears fell into the dirt between Merrill's knees. "I lost everything for this, Lethallan, and for what? It seems so _common_ now."

"You haven't lost me," Hawke replied. "Or Varric, or Anders, or Fenris, any of us. And you saved us in the Deep Roads. We would have all died if you hadn't thought to use Fenris."

"But the Keeper –"

"Would want you to save Thedas, wouldn't you think? She'd be so proud."

Merrill wrapped her arms around Hawke's neck and cried into her pale hair, overwhelmed with all that happened to her. Hawke wrapped her arms around her friend and let her cry.

Hawke could see the silhouette of Varric standing in the kitchen doorway, watching over them.

Anders approached the elf sharpening his sword by the fireplace. "We need to have a conversation."

Fenris looked at him.

Cullen approached the pair of them. "Have either of you seen Fable? She's not in the barn."

"Hawke, have you seen Fable?" Fenris asked her when she and Merrill appeared at the door.

"No, has something happened?"

"I just haven't seen her since supper," Cullen replied.

"You are absolute dolts, you know that don't you? Every single one of you. As soon as she walked out the door, I knew she went to fetch Wynne by herself," Morrigan said. "Do you know nothing about that woman?"

* * *

><p>Fable stood about 100 yards from the White Spire, assessing the security.<p>

"You are here for the First Enchanter, I take it?"

She spun around in the direction of the question and aimed her staff's glowing light into the copse of trees she stood at the edge of.

A figure in black squatted on a low limb above her.

"You won't get in without my help."

"You're the Black Rider that brought her here," she replied. "Give me one reason I should trust you."

"I want what you want," he said, "to lay The Libertarian low."

"What is your stake in all of this?"

"I protect the Maker's interests."

"You're a Seeker of Truth, then?" Fable inched her way towards him, to get a look at his face.

He pulled back the string on his bow and aimed it at her. "I respect you Warden-Commander," he whispered in a foreign accent. "But you are a mage, so I will have no qualms with killing you. I am no Seeker. I am a Protector of Faith."

"Why did you bring Wynne here?"

"I thought she would kill him herself. He is her responsibility. It seems I was mistaken in her resolve."

"Wynne would never kill her child, I could have told you that, if you had just come to us."

"You travel with poor bedfellows."

"I see," Fable said.

"You are the Hero of Fereldan, though, there is a certain honor in that, mage or not."

"Would you trust me?"

The man laughed at this. "No. I would not."

"What do you need from me, then?"

"You need to go back to your companions and give this to Anders. He'll know what needs to be done." He tossed her a sack.

"I should trust you, when you won't trust me?"

"You are running out of options, Warden-Commander," he told her. "I will get your First Enchanter for you as a sign of good will. Come alone at dawn, she will be here."

"Why are you helping Wynne?"

"I'm not, I'm helping the Spirit that she possesses."

"Faith?"

"Faith," he said and disappeared into the shadows. She examined the pack that he had handed her.

They met her on the road back to Morrigan's. Cullen ran up to her, he looked angry.

"Why would you do that to us?"

"I needed to see it, I needed to size it up and I needed to be alone."

"Please, Fable, don't do that to us again," he said. The look of concern on his face actually made her blush.

"I'm sorry," she said.

They made it back to Morrigan's and Fable handed Anders the pack. "Our Black Rider gave this to me to give you," she told him. "He said you'd know what to do with it."

Anders dumped the bag on the table. He jumped back from the contents as though it were a rattlesnake. The back of his hand pressed tight against his lips.

Hawke's gaze narrowed. "Is that?"

"Sela Petrae, drakestone, and charcoal."

Hawke spun around on Fable. "What did this man look like? What did he sound like?"

"I – I didn't get a good look at him, he held me at bay with a longbow," Fable said.

"Sebastian," Varric said.

"I don't understand," Fable replied. "What does he want from Anders?"

"He wants me to blow up the White Spire," Anders said.

_Author's note: Starting to wrap this up, hope you've all enjoyed it and I'm so sorry there was such a long break in between._


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